Benson Hall
by MaitresseSaint
Summary: The admin made a mistake and stuck Bella in a coed dorm. What will happen when she meets her Star Wars loving, D&D playing, bookworm roommate Jasper? Now a multi chapter fic! AH/OOC/Rated M for graphic language and lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**This o/s was written for a very good friend of mine. She sends me cookies, I write her geeks. Fair trade right? Love you, Jess.**

**Super thanks to Kitty Cullen for beta'ing this piece. **

**To all my URoad readers, I am so sorry! I will have an update to you soon. I have 8,000 words down of chapter 44 and the epi is half done as well, so the next update will be the last for that story. YAY!**

**Hope you guys like my Geeksper and Shyella. Please R&R**

* * *

"Fuck," I muttered, looking around my dorm room. I was frustrated and pissed off that that the administration had made such a huge mistake before my freshmen year of college even began. I pushed open the faux oak door that was barely hanging on the hinges and stomped my way down the hall, trying to find my resident advisor. I remembered reading about her in the college living packet the university sent me at the beginning of the summer. Not only did they tell me her name, but they gave me a list of credentials that went along with it. Rosalie Hale was a Delta Phi Epsilon, cheer captain her junior year, and had won more awards then my brain would allow me to recall. In my mind I had drawn a picture of her, tall, blonde, and busty. I hated her already.

As I reached the end of the hall, I found a door with a pretty pink, ostentatious name tag that read Rosie. I lifted my fist and began to bang. The door flew open, and behind it stood a boy… a man with glowing green eyes and damp bronze hair. My eyes instinctively wondered down his body; he was lean, yet muscular, and fucking hot. His tight black t-shirt fit snuggly around the curves of his biceps and his distressed jeans hung low on his hips, causing me to wonder what he had on underneath them.

"Can I help you?" he said smugly, bringing me out of my lust filled haze. I brought my eyes up to his face, trying not to think about the heat that was rising to my cheeks. Once I noticed the smirk playing on his lips, I grimaced. There was no question in my mind. I knew his type. The cocky bastard was not only arrogant, but vain.

"I'm looking for Rosalie Hale. Is she here?" I asked with confidence, not wanting him to notice my embarrassment. I tried peeking around his body, but found no sign of a woman even residing there. The bed was cloaked with a blue and beige comforter and the walls adorned with plaques. The desk was large and covered with stakes of papers; it looked like it belonged in a surgeon's office rather than a resident advisor's dorm room. There was a picture of a tiny brunette propped up on the lamp, but before I could get a good look, the asshole moved into my line of sight.

"I'm Edward, the new RA. Rose won't be back this year," he said, chuckling at the mention of 'Rose'. I wanted to ask him what happened, but decided against it, although, I had spent the last two months wondering about Miss Hale and found the thought of such a well known, established student backing out of her commitments during her last year disturbing.

"Well, there seems to be a mistake with my dorm room."

"What's the problem?"

"There's a guy living in there! You're a guy! I'm not supposed to be in a coed dorm."

"Ah, you must be Isabella."

"Bella."

"What?"

"Bella, please call me… you know what? Never mind. How did you know who I was?" I asked curiously.

He stepped back into the room and out of the doorway, motioning for me to come in. I narrowed my eyes, challenging his actions. Did I feel comfortable about being in that beautiful boys room? I wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. My feet started moving on their own accord. I stopped as I reached the desk and waited. I could hear him coming up from behind me, but I didn't move. I found the picture I had seen earlier and began to study the girl. She was cute, but not the type of girl I would have expected him to date. She was short and extremely thin. Her nearly black hair rested right at her jaw line and even in the picture, I could tell that she was a happy person. Her wide eyes appeared to be gray, but held the same sparkle as Edwards.

"She's my sister," he said, reaching around me to grab the picture of the desk. I jumped slightly as I felt his warm breath roll across the back of my neck.

"She's really pretty."

"I guess so. Anyway, that is how I know you're name. You, Alice, and one other freshman, a boy named Eric, were the only three under classmen chosen to live here. Have a seat." He moved around to the back of the desk and sat down after pulling out a small blue folder.

"Can't I change with someone? I mean, I don't really want to live with some strange guy," I said, scrunching up my face at the disgusting thoughts running through my mind. _Would he be clean? Did he have girlfriend? Would they have sex… in my room?_

"You should feel honored that the administration thought so highly of you, Bella. There aren't very many people who can say they were granted upper classmen privileges before their first semester in college even began. If you really want to change you will have to speak with them. There is nothing I can do. Let me see who your roommate is. Maybe he would be willing to switch with Alice. I have feeling the two of you will get along and technically it's against the rules for you to be roomed with a male."

"Then what the fuck happened?" I asked, throwing my hands in the air.

"Ah, you're roommate is Jasper Hale and it looks like Alice is rooming with Emmett. This must have been Rose's doing. You see, Rosalie is my cousin and Emmett is her fiancé. Jasper is her brother and ever since Rose left school, Jasper and Emmett don't exactly get along. They cannot room together. The only advice I can give you is to try and make friends with one of the other girls, get them to switch with you. Jasper is harmless, believe me, but if you're uncomfortable then that or talking to the admin are your only two options."

"You're all related? You… you're cousins with Rosalie and this Jasper person?"

"Yup." He said simply.

"Doesn't really seem fair that I'm getting thrown into the middle of your family's drama."

"Then stay out of it," he said, shrugging. "Go to class, get good grades, make some friends, and before you know it the year will be over."

"You're an asshole," I said, throwing my hand up to cover my mouth. I wasn't really sure where the words came from.

"I've been told that once or twice," he said. Judging by his tone I could tell he wasn't lying.

I pushed back on the fold out chair I was sitting in and stood up. I turned to leave the room, but before I got to the door Edward called after me.

"I hope to see you again, Bella." His tone was smug. I was sure that if I had turned around, I would have seen the same cocky smirk he wore before. I had already had enough of that school and was ready to gather my belongings and head back to Washington. My mind was already flipping through the different possibilities, community college, online courses, stripper… my parents wouldn't mind having me for a couple more years. Since I didn't really want a confrontation, I ignored Edward's goodbye. I threw the door open, slammed it behind me, and stomped my way back down the hall to the room I would not be living in.

When I got inside I pushed the door shut quietly and rested my forehead against. It would be my luck that something I was so excited about would go so horribly wrong. I have always been one of those girls that finished last. I was clumsy, so I didn't excel at sports and nearly failed gym every single year. Being shy, I never had many girlfriends. The only person outside of my family that I've ever grown remotely close to was Jessica Stanley and that was only because she was what I like to think of an outcast, too. I've never been very pretty, just plain and slightly awkward. My body didn't catch up to my age until I was sixteen and by then, I had already been known as the shy girl, the snob, or the teacher's pet. I was always last pick for dates to dances or prom; not that I ever went anyway. The only boy I ever dated, Mike, decided the day after graduation that he wasn't ready to settle down and wanted to, as he put it, be free in college. I didn't mind much. He was more of an experiment for me anyway. My hope was that college would be different. That I could reinvent myself so to speak, but I was seriously starting to doubt that would happen.

"Are you alright, Miss?" I heard a quiet voice say from behind me. Startled, I turned around to see who it belonged to. He was tall, maybe 6'3, with short blonde hair. He wore thick black framed glasses, but behind them were the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen. I tried not to giggle as I took in his attire; a pale blue button down polo, khaki's, and a pair of black chucks. I never believed that type of nerd truly existed; apparently I was wrong.

"No." I said, not really sure why I was being honest with him.

"Okay. Can I ask why you chose my room to be not okay in?"

"Are you Jasper?" I said, sniffing and trying to hold back the tears that had yet to fall.

"Yes. You are?"

"Bella. That's my stuff. I'm supposed to be your roommate, but I don't think I'm staying," I said, plopping down on one of the oversized popison chairs.

"You're my roommate? But… but, you're a…"

"Girl! I know! That's why I'm leaving. I thought that maybe there had been a mistake made, but when I went to see Edward he told me he thinks that your sister did this. I can't live here. With you!" I interrupted, wanting him to know that I was well aware of the situation.

"Geesh, I'm not that bad." He looked down at his attire and straightened himself out.

"No, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. It's just, I didn't plan on living with a guy and my dad would be really pissed off." I sat up straight and put my head in my hands. My dad, Charlie, was always worried about me and boys. If I called home to tell them about what the administration had done, there was no way he would let me stay.

"Where would you go?" he asked.

"Back to Washington I guess. I don't really have the money to rent anything and I'm sure that all of the other dorms are full by now."

"Why don't we try it out for a week and see how it goes. I promise not to get in your personal space as long as you promise to stay out of mine." He was smiling down at me as he spoke.

I thought about his proposition for a minute. I really didn't want to go home and dealing with the administration could be more trouble then what it's worth. Jasper seemed like a nice guy and even though he was extremely good looking, it didn't seem he had many girls knocking at his door.

"Cool. One week," I said, holding out my hand for him to shake it. He looked at it timidly. I wondered for a second if he was even more inexperienced in life than I was. When he finally shook it, his grasp was strong, but his hands soft. He moved away from me quickly and began to organize a group of Star Wars figurines he had on the shelf above his bed.

"What's your major?" I asked, moving to my side of the room to start unpacking.

"Forensic Science," he answered. He didn't look at me and I got the impression he didn't want to continue our conversation, so I didn't push him.

* * *

"Bella," Alice sang, bouncing into my room like she owned the place.

We had become friends a couple days after Jasper and I made the agreement to try and coexist. Edward had told her how uncomfortable I was, so she did everything she could to make sure I felt like I fit in. Jasper had maybe said fifty words to me since then and the majority of them were hello. I found myself questioning what I had done to make him not like me, so much in fact that it had nearly become an obsession. Jasper had become my obsession.

"What are you doing?" she asked. I turned my head to look at her and just as expected, she seemed disgusted that I was scrubbing my bathroom floor.

"Cleaning."

"Well stop it. We're going out," she said, fixing her hair in the mirror.

"I'm not going to that stupid party, Alice. I already told you." I continued to scrub, hoping that maybe if I didn't pay her any attention she would go away.

"My brother really wants you to come."

I groaned at the thought of being in the same room as Edward. Every time I turn around he's there, trying to get me alone. According to Alice, what Edward wants, Edward gets and he won't give up until I give in. I had thought about what it would be like to be with him, but each time I would remind myself that to him I would only be another notch in his belt, or bed post.

"I'm not going, Alice." I said, dominance lacing my tone.

"You are!" she yelled. I knew it was a fight I wouldn't win. I had stayed home the last two times she asked me to go anywhere.

I didn't say anything as I got up and walked over to my closet to find something to wear. In true Alice fashion she jumped in front of me and started rummaging through my stuff. By the time I was ready I had on the shortest skirt and a pink halter, that was a gift from my Aunt Sue. I would have never picked it myself.

We got to the fraternity house and I immediately wanted to leave. Alice was outgoing and boisterous; the complete opposite of me. I felt like a lap dog following her around the room as she talked to one person or another. I finally decided to go make myself a drink and found a private corner to crawl into and hide until she was ready to go. It wasn't long before Edward found me and asked me to dance. I agreed, having nothing better to do. After dancing through a couple of songs, I went back to my corner, and he went back to mingle with the promise to see me later. If I was lucky he would find some other goal for the night. Two hours and too many drinks later, Alice finally came to find me and walked me home. She had found some jock to go home with that night, but one thing I loved about Alice is that she was a loyal friend.

I walked into my room, trying to be as quiet as possible in case Jasper was asleep. He had had a long week with work and school and the last thing I wanted do was bother him. When I got inside Jasper was there with some of the guys from his chemistry class, playing Halo. I walked further into the room and said hello, causing the majority of the group to stand and greet me. I was grateful that he had a quiet bunch of friends as I was drunk, tired, and ready to go to bed. I gathered my pajamas and toiletries and headed to our in suite bathroom. I could hear commotion on the other side of the door as I got ready. While I was getting dressed, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I would open up to people a little more and at least try to enjoy my college experience. I made a promise to myself then that I would at least try to bust out of my shell. I was about to walk out of the bathroom when there was a knock at the door.

"I'm coming out now," I said, turning the handle. Jasper was standing on the other side.

"Sorry, I was just wondering how long you would be. I wanted to take a shower before I went to sleep," he said, looking down at the ground.

"Oh. I'm finished." I moved out of his way and carried my stuff over to my bed. I could feel Jasper's eyes still on me, so I walked back to the bathroom door.

"You looked really pretty tonight," he said. I looked at him curiously, causing him to continue. "Not that you don't look pretty all the time, but that color… the pink, it looked really good on you."

"Thanks." I said with a smile.

"Where'd you go?" He looked off to the side of me, almost like he was embarrassed for asking.

"To the Sigma house with Alice," I said, shaking my head. I hated to admit that I had even gone to one of those things.

"Did you have fun?"

"Not really. That's not really my thing you know." I shrugged, but inside I was dancing. That was the most he had talked to me since we met and I hoped the conversation wasn't over.

"What is 'your thing'?" He asked mimicking my tone.

"I don't know. I like to read. I'm really into music. I would love to see a good band sometime soon."

"Maybe we could do that together. If we're going to be living together, I guess it's only right that we get to know each other a little better." Suddenly, his face grew serious. I realized that he must have noticed the grimace on mine.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I blurted out.

"Have I not been nice to you?" He leaned against the door frame and looked at me curiously.

"Well, you haven't really been anything. You don't really acknowledge me," I said. I heard him groan quietly before going to explain.

"I'm sorry about that. I'm not exactly… great… with girls, especially pretty ones."

"You think I'm pretty?" I smiled.

"Yeah." His face turned beet red, but he didn't look away.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you." I admitted, ashamed that I was doing to him what had been done to me so many times.

"You didn't. I embarrass easily, sorry," he chuckled.

"Please stop apologizing."

"Sorry," he said, causing both of us to laugh.

* * *

Jasper and I had been hanging out daily for over a month and my patience with his gentlemanly behavior was wearing thin. I got the impression that he was into me, but he never made a move. It was a Saturday night and neither one of us had done much that day. The only time I had gone out was when I went to the grocery with Alice and I don't recall Jasper leaving at all. I watched him as he studied. He always had his nose in a book, even when he didn't have to. I found it endearing, though, sometimes I thought he was doing it to avoid me. While we had become close and I knew that he was still extremely shy around me.

"Hey, wanna go get dinner?" I asked, sashaying over to his desk.

"Maybe later." He didn't look up at me as he answered.

"You've studied all day and it's probably material you already know. Please?" I pleaded. I didn't care much about going out, but I was tired of sitting in silence.

"There is no such thing as too much studying. You could read and study a text book front to back and still miss something, Bella." He stated seriously.

"Whatever," I said, marching over to my dresser to find something to wear.

I started to get myself ready to go out. If Jasper didn't want to go to dinner, then I would just go myself. I had grown tired of waiting around for him. I limited myself to two friends, him and Alice, and maybe the time for me to spread my wings had finally come. I was standing in the bathroom, about to pull my jeans over my hips when I heard a knock at the door. Jasper took his time answering. I heard the door open, but as hard as I tried I couldn't hear any voices. It only took minutes to throw up my hair and put on minimal make-up. I walked out of the bathroom and made a beeline for my bag. I was angry at Jasper, even though I knew I was being unreasonable.

"Bella," I heard Edward call from behind me. In my hurry to get out of the door I forgot that someone had come by.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning around to see what he wanted.

"I came by to see if you would like to have dinner with me," he said, feigning shyness. Everyone knew that Edward Cullen wasn't shy when it came to girls. I had seen half of the female freshmen population come in and out of his room over the last two months. Still, I had no one to go out with and figured that eating with him was better than eating alone.

"Um, yea…"

"Bella is going out with me tonight." Jasper interrupted, surprising Edward and me. My face was painted with confusion. He gave me a pleading look, so I decided to go along with what he said.

"Yeah, we were about to head out. Sorry."

"Another time then." Edward said before heading for the door.

I waited for the door to shut to start in on Jasper. He had me more confused than ever and I wanted to know what his problem was.

"Why did you do that?"

"You're not going out with him, Bella."

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Jasper Hale? I asked you to go out with me, but you declined. I was going out anyway and if another one of my friends wanted to go I don't really see how that is any of your concern."

"Friends? Is that what we are?" he asked. The sadness in his tone didn't escape me, but I was too frustrated to care.

"I thought so!" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air.

"Then I apologize. I was under the impression that out relationship was deeper than that and wasn't comfortable with you hanging out with _him_." He pointed to the door as if Edward were still there.

"You have to give me something, Jasper. I'm so confused. You act like you're interested, but then you turn your back at the slightest hint of intimacy." It felt good to be honest.

"I told you, I'm not good with girls."

"We aren't going to get anywhere like this. Fuck, Jasper, I'm human, I have needs. Haven't you ever had a girlfriend?" He put his head down, but looked up at me through his lashes. I waited patiently for an answer, but one never came.

"Oh my God, you haven't," I gasped.

"Have you ever done… anything?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well, yeah, once. With one of Rosalie's friends. It was nothing special. I've always been more into my studies and figured when the right girl came along it would happen, but then you showed up and I didn't… don't know what to do."

Unsure of what to say, I made the sudden decision that if he wasn't going to make the first move, then I was. I stalked towards him slowly and took his face into the palms of my hands. His eyes got wide as I inched my face closer to his. Before our lips met I saw his part slightly and felt his sweet breath drift across my face. I brushed my bottom lip against his softly before pressing it to his mouth fully. It was different than any other kiss I had before; it was light and unnerving. Once we were attached I could tell that Jasper's nerves had calmed. He brought his arms around my back and pulled my body flush against his. I felt his tongue dart out and sweep against the crease of my mouth. I instinctively moaned as I let him in. Our tongues danced in perfect rhythm. When I finally pulled away to catch my breath I as dizzy from the euphoric feeling our kiss had given me. Jasper rested his forehead against mine and shut his eyes.

"That was perfect," he said, licking my taste off of his lips.

"It was," I whispered. "You're perfect."

He looked into my eyes, searching for some hidden meaning behind my words. What I said was true. Jasper was perfect; at least for me.

* * *

**This was supposed to be a o/s, however, I am thinking about adding to it. If you liked it, alert it. **

**Just a reminder that the Forgotten Femmes Anonymous Contest is open! If you haven't heard about it please check it out. ****http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2175292/The_Forgotten_Femmes**

**The Darlin's have a new segment called Teaser Tuesdays!! Every Tuesday we will be posting 150-200 word teasers for your Jasper stories, so if you would like to be included in that post go to jaspersdarlins(dot)blogspot(dot)com for more info. **

**Happy New Year!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga and all of its characters.**

* * *

_**JPOV**_

"You have no say in who's allowed in this house," I said, slamming my fist down on the dining room table. Rosalie and I had been going back and forth about our plans for Christmas for two weeks. I stood my ground, never once backing down from my position that Bella would be spending the holiday with our family.

"I do when it's _that _girl. Don't you see that she's using you, Jasper? I only have your best interest at heart."

"Why do you always do this, Rose? Every time I get close to someone you find something wrong with them. I love her, and just like you don't agree with our relationship, I don't agree with yours, but that's never stopped you from shoving it down my throat." I absolutely loathed Rosalie's fiancé. He was crude and even though he was highly intelligent, he refused to show it.

"Emmett is a good guy." She looked me in the face, but was shifting from foot to foot. She knew her words were a lie.

"Yeah, so good that he got you pregnant right before your last year."

"That wasn't all him you know- besides, I'm going back. It's just temporary." She shrugged.

"A baby is not temporary, Rose," I said, irritated by her nonchalant attitude over the whole thing. She was reluctant in the beginning to tell us, but only because she feared that our uncle, Carlisle, wouldn't approve.

"That's not what I meant," she said, rolling her eyes. She moved to the other side of the table and took a seat across from me.

"Jasper, take it easy on her. She doesn't need the extra stress, not right now." Carlisle said as he entered the room; his tone light and cheery.

Rosalie and I lived with our aunt and uncle since my seventh grade year when my parents were hit by a drunk driver. The accident was extremely hard on both of us; me being my Momma's boy and Rose not being the independent type. We were lucky that our mother had such a loving, generous sister to take us in. Neither Carlisle nor Esme have ever treated us any differently than they treated their own children. We were always loved and punished in the same manner.

"Bella is coming home with me for Christmas break. I hope that's alright." I said not taking my eyes off of Rose. I shifted across the room to stand by the door. I was ready to make my escape.

"Are you kidding? Esme will be thrilled," he said. I could tell that he was thrilled, too.

"Fine, it's settled then," I said, glaring at my sister.

"Whatever. I'm going to Tennessee with Emmett then." She crossed her arms across her chest in defiance. Carlisle had always given Rose whatever she wanted, and when that wasn't the case, she knew what a sucker he was for her pout.

"I don't think so young lady. I'm not telling you what to do, Rose. You're an adult, but Christmas is only two weeks before you're due and you can't fly. Emmett can spend Christmas here, with us." He said, but he appeared to regret the words the moment they escaped his lips. "As long as he behaves," he added, turning to walk out of the room quickly. Rosalie's hormones had caused us all to be a little fearful of her.

"This isn't over, Jasper." She spoke through clenched teeth. One thing about Rose, she knew how to look lethal when she wanted to. It didn't faze me anymore, not like when we were young.

"I didn't think it was." I rolled my eyes as I walked out of the room.

"Is everything okay, honey?" Esme asked, walking out of the kitchen and into the foyer. I was glad to see her, but in a hurry to get to on with my day.

"Yeah, Rose is just crabby. Everything will be fine." I started to head to the door, but turned around quickly when I remembered that I hadn't warned her about Bella."Aunt Esme, before I forget, Bella will be joining us for Christmas."

"You know I love Bella, Jasper, besides, the more the merrier." She stood up on her toes and kissed my cheek in a motherly manner. "Please be careful going back to school, don't forget to wear your seat belt, and call me when you get there."

"I'm going to Tyler's. I will call you from there."

"Thank you," she said, patting me on the shoulder before making her way back into the kitchen.

I practically ran out the door and hopped into my pepper green _9-3 Saab Turbo_, not the best looking car, but fast and highly under appreciated. The guys on campus gave me crap for driving something that looked like it belonged at a ten year olds soccer game, but I brushed it off, never confident enough to tell them what I had under the hood. I peeled out of the drive and chastised myself for not thinking about being at Esme's house. I was bound to hear it later. I was relieved to be heading to Tyler's. It had been too long since I had sat down and enjoy a good game of D&D. The relaxation it would bring was bound to keep my mind off of my troubles.

I sped down the highway swerving in and out of traffic, trying to keep my mind occupied and free of worries, but per usual, my thoughts drifted to Bella. When I woke up that morning I rolled over to see her angelic sleeping face. That wasn't out of the norm, but trying to remain a gentleman around her was becoming hard to keep up and I knew she was starting to lose her patience. Whether it was fear or nerves, I wasn't sure, but I couldn't bring myself to move beyond heavy petting outside of the clothes. The last time she tried to advance further I bolted, mumbling a lie about some test I had forgotten to study for. I apologized two days later.

Since the day Bella Swan walked into my life my dreams were of her, not one of them innocent. I didn't even know what the term 'blue balls' meant until she showed up. It's not that I didn't notice women, I just hadn't found one that held my interest. The girls that were interested in me were either friends of Rose, who looked at me as a conquest or classmates who needed help in that particular class and were willing to give anything to get it. The one time I gave into some girls advances, my heart was broken. Lala was a friend of Rose. They had cheered together since their freshmen year of high school and out of all the girls that hung around the house I found her the most likeable. I would help her with her school work and on the weekends go to her games. Carlisle and Esme were always good with us having small get-togethers as long as we were responsible and one weekend while they were at a medical conference in San Diego, we did just that. That night Lala and I moved past our normal friendly banter when she snuck into my room. I got a hand job, she got a kiss. The next day when I ran into her in the kitchen she acted like nothing happened. I assumed she was just embarrassed until I saw her grinding her cute little ass into Edward's crotch later that evening. It's sad to admit that I was crushed, but I really wanted to believe that her sneaking into my room was the start of a relationship. That was the last time I tried to be anything more than friends with anyone, until Bella. She was different. It didn't matter that she hadn't said she loved me, I knew she did. She said it in the way she accepted me, looked at me, touched me. I only hoped that my shyness and I wouldn't fuck it up. My agreement with Rose did nothing but add to my frustration; it was a reminder that I had no outlet for the release I needed so badly.

I pulled into the driveway at Tyler's mom and took a deep breath before cutting the engine and getting out of the car. I tried to put on a happy face as I knocked on the door.

"Jasper, honey, it's so nice to see you." Mrs. Crowley's sing song tone rang loudly in my ear as took me into her arms and pressed her half exposed chest into me.

"You too, Mrs. Crowley. Are the boys here?" I asked, pulling out of her embrace. I tried looking beyond her to see if anyone was coming to save me, but it didn't appear they were. I would have to come up with another way to escape her clutches.

"They are, but wouldn't you rather hang out with me?" She said with a wink. I shivered at the thought of having to spend any amount of time alone with her. Most of the other guys in our group, and even some that weren't, liked the attention she gave, but me, I was a mixture of being turned on and creeped the fuck out. Her scantily clad outfits and flirtatious behavior wasn't very motherly, however, she did look good. If I'm being honest, she had starred in more than a couple of my fantasies when I was younger.

"Sorry, I don't have that long and it's been a while since I've had the chance to hang out. Rain check?" I asked with a blush. She knew I didn't mean it, but seeing me squirm was enough to placate her.

"Oh alright, they're in the basement." She turned to sashay in front of me. When I didn't move she turned around and motioned for me to follow. I did and when we got to the basement door I was lucky that she let me pass without further incident.

I sat at my usual seat, happy that they hadn't replaced me. We talked and joked for a while. I wasn't in the mood for the game, but it was the reason for the meeting and to them, necessary. We had been playing for over an hour when I heard my name being called.

"Jasper. Jasper. HELLO!" Eric hollered directly in my ear. My head snapped around and I sought out his face.

"What's up, man? You haven't said a word for the last half hour." He looked concerned, but he wouldn't make it a point to let the others know. My friendships had slowly started to deteriorate, but Eric and I had the majority of our classes together, so it was easy to stay in touch.

"Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind. I should probably get going," I said, standing up. I put my hands in my pockets and dug around for my keys. The irritated looks that the guys were giving one another didn't escape me, and I made the decision then that I wouldn't be back. Dungeons and Dragons had been fun and filled many lonely nights, but it was time I moved on.

"Later," most of them yelled.

"I'll walk you out," Eric said, giving me a half smile. I nodded my gratitude.

We walked to my car in silence, shaking hands awkwardly before I got in. I drove to Benson Hall with nothing but happy thoughts of Bella. I hadn't seen her since she left for her morning study group and I knew that she would make me feel better. I rushed to make my way through the parking lot and up the stairs to our room. I heard laughter coming from inside the door and felt a smile spread across my face at the thought of my girl being happy. Once I was inside my smile immediately faltered. Bella was there, but so was my dickhead cousin. They both stood up quickly and Bella made her way over to me. She threw her arms around my waist, but I didn't reciprocate, I couldn't.

"What's the matter, Jas?" she asked, looking up at me. I could see the hurt in her eyes and I'm sure she could see the fury in mine.

"We'll talk about it later," I stated. I was rooted in my place. Unable to move or look at either of them.

"Jasper. Thank you for letting me borrow your girlfriend for the evening. It was quite enjoyable," Edward said, clamping his hand down on my shoulder and heading for the door. I began to tremble slightly at his words.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bells." He said as I heard him open the door.

"Bye." She responded quietly, not taking her eyes off of me.

I moved around her and walked into the room. My eyes drift to the area where they were sitting. I notice text books and Bella's laptop, but it's hard for me to believe that studying was Edward's purpose to visit. He never studies. Much like the girls who have thrown themselves in my direction, Edward finds some poor innocent to do his school work for him.

"What is wrong with you?" Bella asks from behind me. I spin around to face her.

"What was he doing here Bella? You know how I feel about him."

"We were studying, Jasper. You know, that thing I have a hard time getting you to stop doing. He needed some help. You're jealousy is asinine," she yelled. It was the first time I had seen her that upset. It tugged at my heart, but my anger outweighed my guilt.

I walked towards her, causing her to move backwards with every step I took. I was angry, she was angry and instead of backing away from the situation I was about to make it worse. We continued to move in a stalker and prey pattern until her back was against the wall. I put my hands on either side of her face and looked her in the eye.

"What were you studying?" I asked sharply. I inhaled, wanting to take in her sweet scent, or maybe I was testing to see if it had been tainted. I sighed quietly when the smell of sugary apples was all that filled my senses.

"Chemistry," she answers. Her voice is shaky and I swear if I would have listened close enough I would have been able to hear the beating of her heart.

"Of course you were." I said sarcastically. I reached down and put my hand between her legs, right above her knees. She spread them for me quickly. I ran the tips of my fingers up her leg, over the sensitive spot at the top of inner thigh, until I reached the seam of her jeans. I heard her gasp as I run my finger up and down her jean clad pussy. I leaned down to kiss her roughly; she didn't hesitate or question me. I took her bottom lip in between my teeth and bit down a little too hard as I pulled away.

"Why was Edward here, Bella? I haven't given you what you want, so you thought you would just go and find the first willing participant?" I regretted the words the second they left my mouth. I knew her better than to think that. Her hand came up and connected with my jaw. I stood there, not stunned, but saddened because of the pain I had caused her.

"Is that what you think of me?" She asked, tears welling up in her eyes. She pushed me away and walked over to the couch. Her hands went to her face as the sobs began to rake through her body. I ran to her, wanting nothing more than to take her into my arms. I was going to lose her, I was sure of it. I kneeled down in front of her and put my hands on her knees. Just as I expected, she jerked away.

"I'm so sorry. I don't think that and I don't know what possessed me to say it. I was so angry, Bella. That guy is bad news and it irritated me that he was here. I should have trusted you." I put my head down, not sure what else to say. She wouldn't look at me and it was tearing me up inside.

"I've only been with one person," she said, causing me to look up at her. Her voice was small; it made her sound so vulnerable. I looked up at her, wanting to pay attention to each word she spoke. "He was my boyfriend and we were together for a while before that happened. Sex isn't something I take lightly, Jasper. I have had the opportunity to sleep with Edward, but I didn't want him. I don't know what you meant by you not giving me what I want. Did I give you the impression that I was trying to fuck you?"

"No. I guess not. I just assumed that all those times, your advances…" I trailed off, shaking my head in confusion.

"Yes, I want you and I have been pressing for more, but not that much more. There are other things we can do."

"I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight with you either, but what just happened can never happen again. I… Please get over your obsession with my friendship with Edward. He really has been very helpful and it's been a long time since he tried anything. Please?"

"I'll try."

"Now, can we get back to talking about us? I'm going crazy here, Jasper. You have to give me something. I love kissing you and when you do touch me, it's great, but at the same time all this waiting is driving me insane."

"Wh… what would you like to do?" My voice was shaky and the words came out broken. I hated the nerves that bubbled up inside of me every time the subject of topic of sex was brought up.

"You have got to get over being so nervous around me. We can take it slow if you want, but I want to be able to touch you; I want you to touch me." She rubbed her hand over my chest as she spoke. I could see the desire she felt for me in her eyes. Relief that we could move past our argument so quickly flooded through me.

"I will give you anything you need." It took every ounce of courage I could conjure up to say that simple sentence, but it was honest. There was absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for her.

"In that case, I'm hopping in the shower and could use some help washing my back." She giggled when I audibly gulped. I hadn't seen her anywhere near naked yet.

"Breathe, Jasper. I was only kidding… kinda." She hopped off of the couch with excitement and headed in the direction of our shared restroom. I watched with an open mouth as she stripped her shirt off and dropped it to the ground. Her bra came next. She unclasped it from behind her back and slid the straps down her shoulders. Her back was smooth and beautiful, the curve of her breast popping slightly out of the side. She dropped it over her shoulder and turned to look at me with one arm over her chest.

"You coming?"

* * *

**Thanks to Kitty Cullen-03 for beta'ing this piece!**

**I am turning this into a multi and will start the next chapter right where I left off. I wanted to give you guys a little Jasper and some back story. Thanks to all of you who have read, reviewed, alerted, and added to your fav's. **

**The last chapter of Unbreakable Road will be up later this week it is with my QueenBeta, Ivy Rain, now.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews, alerts, and fav's! I appreciate each and every one of them!**

**If you aren't found of the words pussy or dick, I suggest you go no further. They will be used in most of my lemons in this story. Just a warning. I don't want to offend.**

**Thanks to Kitty Cullen for her encouraging words and beta skills.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own!**

* * *

**_BPOV_**

"Breathe, Jasper. I was only kidding… kinda." I hopped off of the couch with a little too much enthusiasm and headed in the direction of our shared restroom. I could feel Jasper's eyes burning into my back, so I decided to suck up my shyness and give him a show. Confidence, when it came to sex, really wasn't my thing and I sure as hell didn't know anything about the art of seduction, so I did the only thing I could think of. I stripped out of my top like I would on any given day, only I dropped it to the floor as I continued to walk. I snuck a peek at him over my shoulder, but his eyes were trained on my back. I only had his facial expression to go by, but he appeared to be enjoying my ridiculous attempt at sexy, so I continued. I removed my bra a little slower than usual; thankful that it unclasped without too much of a fight. I held it until I came to the bathroom door and dropped it over my shoulder, like I had seen so many times in movies. I stopped once I reached the door and covered my breast with my arm. I turned around to see Jasper gaping at me. I giggled quietly, not sure if he heard. I wanted him to join me on his own, but it didn't appear that he would be moving anytime soon.

"You coming?" I asked playfully. I didn't linger in the doorway and wait for him to answer. My day had been long and tiring and the last thing I wanted to do was face him if he were to reject me again.

I walked over to the shower and turned on the water, jiggling the knobs and checking the stream a few times to make sure it was at a good temperature. One of the things I hated about living in that dorm was the faulty faucet. No matter how many times Jasper and I would complain they never came by to fix it.

I stood up with my back to the door and quickly undid my jeans. I had my thumbs hooked in the sides, ready to pull them down when I heard Jasper clear his throat from behind me. I turned my head to the side and with a smirk continued what I was doing. Alice and I had gone shopping last week and while we were out I luckily picked up some cute panties. I'd never really minded a comfy cotton brief, but I was at the point where I would have done anything to get him to pay me some attention- underneath the jeans. I thought it would be an "accidental" run in that would reveal my lacy black boy shorts, but I was happy to have him willingly watch me undress, something I wasn't even comfortable doing in front of Alice. Being with Jasper had been easy. Way easier than my previous relationship and I was comfortable with him. We had been dating three weeks when I realized that I would be the one always making the first move if our relationship was going to progress. I didn't mind much; it was probably good for me. However, I was looking forward to the day that he would open up to me. It was obvious that Jasper wanted to be intimate, but he was just too shy and inexperienced to know how.

I shimmied my way out of my jeans and turned around. Jasper eyed me up and down, his eyes glazing over. We stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity. I began to feel insecure, standing there not saying a word, so I wrapped my arms around my body to hide myself from his gaze.

"Don't do that," he said, walking toward me. He grabbed my arms and moved them away from my body, never taking his eyes off of my face.

"You were just standing there and I… I don't know. I started feeling self conscious and-" His lips attacked mine, putting an end to my ramblings. The kiss was closed mouth and quick, but told me everything that I needed to know. He wanted me; he just didn't know what to do.

He grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me back lightly. His eyes wandered down my body, pausing for a brief moment when he came to my chest. He moved his hand down to my thigh and ran it up the length of my side; the lightness of his touch causing me to shiver.

"You are so beautiful," he said, continuing to let his eyes roam over my near naked form.

"Thank you," I whispered. I immediately started to feel better.

He turned his head to look at the shower and then back to me with an eyebrow raised. I answered his silent question with a nod. I faced my body towards the shower and stripped out of the only piece of clothing I had on. I could feel his eyes on my backside, but didn't look at him as I stepped into the hot stream. I almost pulled the shower curtain shut out of habit, but thought better of it. I wanted Jasper in the shower with me and the chances of that happening were better that way.

I grabbed my sponge that was hanging on the shower head, followed by my favorite orange scented body wash. I turned my attention back to Jasper as I squirted some gel into the mesh and worked it into a sudsy lather, never taking my eyes off his.

"Are you just going to stand there?" I asked. The cool breeze blowing in the open shower caused a thin layer of chill bumps to form over most of my wet body. I moved to get under the stream, but still never took my eyes off of him. His glasses had fogged slightly, but I could see that his eyes were heavy with an emotion that I could only assume was lust. As his chest rose and fell it was apparent that he was breathing harder than before. He didn't answer me, so I waved my free hand in front of his face to try and startle him out of his daze.

"I'm sorry. What?"

"Are you just going to stand there? It's getting cold in here."

"Oh." Was all he said as the realization that I expected him to join me set in. I could see the internal battle written on his face.

Once again, I was feeling defeated and moved a little further into the stream to shower on my own. I heard rustling and looked to see Jasper hurriedly discarding his clothes. A small smile spread across my lips as I thought about what could possibly happen. I watched him, but he was none the wiser. I had never seen his body. I mean, sure I had seen him walk around without a shirt, but that was the extent of it. He was lean, yet, muscular, something you wouldn't have been able to tell when he was fully dressed. His hands went to the rim of his boxer briefs, I watched with excitement as he slid them down his legs. His cock sprang out and slapped against his lower abdomen. I had to hold back a gasp as I took in his size. It was perfect, beautiful, and suddenly thoughts of its innocence flooded my brain. He took off his glasses and set them on the narrow counter. I wanted so badly to ask him to leave them on. _Another time_, I thought as he took a few steps forward. He stopped once he reached the shower. I nodded enthusiastically, trying to encourage him to come in.

He stepped in and immediately held his hand out for me to hand him the sponge. I could tell his was proud of himself for not running away from me, like he usually did, by the smirk that played on his lips. I turned my back to him and let the water cascade down the front of my body while he began to wash me. He started at my shoulders, running the sponge slowly down the nape of my neck to the back of my arms in a circular motion. He repeated the movement up and down my back, until he was satisfied that it was clean. I could nearly feel his hesitation as he reached my lower back.

"You don't have to." I said over my shoulder.

"I want to." He whispered, before mustering up the courage to run his hand over my bare ass. I heard a groan from inside of his chest. The noise lit a spark in me, causing wetness to pool between my legs. I silently prayed that he would keep going, that just this one time I would be allowed release.

He didn't stop until he reached the back of my heels. I was positive that I had the cleanest backside in the state of New Hampshire, but I wouldn't… couldn't complain. I twisted my body around to rinse the soap off of my back and ran right into Jasper's chest. My breathing became labored as my hard nipples brushed up against his skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I felt his erection twitch against my stomach as he brought his lips down on mine. His tongue darted out of his mouth and swiped across my bottom lip. My lips parted and I took him in greedily. Jasper always tasted so sweet or maybe it was my imagination, my love for him causing my mind to play tricks on me.

With our lips still attached, I slide my hand in between our bodies and ran it down his chest. He moaned into my mouth as I continued rub down his abdomen. The back of my hand brushed the tip of his dick, shocking us both. I pulled my face away from his and looked up at him through my lashes. He always looked so innocent, almost scared and I wondered if, at that moment, my facial expression betrayed my own nervousness. I wanted to touch him and I longed for him to touch me, but it was still a first for us.

The water wasn't going to stay warm much longer, and while I didn't want to rush things, I did want to move them along. With the back of my hand still on him, I gave him one last glance before dragging my fingers up and down his length.

"Does that feel good?" I asked, looking up at him. I didn't need to hear his answer to know that he enjoyed my touch.

"Yeah." His voice was rough and heavy. If we weren't standing face to face I would have thought it didn't belong to him.

I wrapped my fingers firmly around his shaft and started stroking him, earning myself quiet, but masculine moans. With every stroke my own need grew. My pussy throbbed at the mere thought of the how he would feel inside of me. Without much thought, my free hand grabbed one of his and moved it to my chest.

"Touch me." It came out harsher then I had expected, but he did as he was told.

His touch was light, but felt so good. He never lingered in any specific area for long and took me by surprise when his hand wandered to my sex without prompt. As I felt his finger slide down my slit I spread my legs a little wider for him. He didn't waste time slipping a finger inside of me, then another. It had been so long since I had touched or been touched that each movement made me want to explode. I tightened my grip on his cock and started to pump faster. I knew he was close and honestly hoped that I would cum first. I moved his hand out of my entrance and up to my clit. I led his finger to the spot where I liked it the most.

"There?" he questioned.

"Yes." I nodded even though I had answered. I shut my eyes and allowed myself to just feel. He was a quick learner and before long I was trembling through my release. I became sensitive quickly, but still was enjoying his hands on me, too much to ask him to stop.

I gripped his balls with my free hand and began to message them in my palm. They tightened in my grasp and I heard him mutter "fuck" before the warm liquid shot out, landing across my belly. My hands never left him as he came down. When he finally opened his eyes he gave me a small smile and gripped my shoulders to turn me out of the cold stream.

Neither of us said a word as her picked up my sponge and proceeded to wash the rest of my body. When he was finished he moved to the side, so that I could rinse off. I watched him step out of the shower and grab the two towels that were hanging on the rack.

"Aren't you going to shower?"

"I took one this morning and I'll take another tomorrow." He dried my legs one at a time, so the floor wouldn't get wet, then wrapped it around me. He pecked my lips and smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I wanted it, too."

"I know."

I had a feeling Jasper was thanking me for more than the hand job. Hope that maybe we would be able to move on without so much fear ran through me. I got excited as I thought about the possibilities. Once I took control, I found that I really didn't mind it, even though he was probably the only person I would ever feel comfortable enough with to do it.

We walked out of the restroom one right after the other. I went to my dresser to dig out my pajamas and dressed quickly. Neither Jasper nor I were big on spending much money, so we often bought pre-packaged food and ate in. I walked over to the one shared cabinet and grabbed a bagel. We keep condiments in our mini fridge, so luckily we had something to top it with. I pulled out a jar of jelly and after fixing my food went to sit on my bed, which served as more of a couch ever since Jasper and I got together.

"Is that what you're eating for dinner?" He looked at with me concern, just like he always did. I wasn't much of an eater; food just wasn't on the top of my priority list.

"Yes. I'm not really hungry, more tired than anything."

"Okay. We can go to bed if you want, just let me eat real quick." It was rare for us to go to bed separately and when we did it was because the other was studying or out.

"Please." I said, exasperated.

Jasper fixed himself something to eat and we both finished our dinner. We always seemed to fall asleep with the TV on and unfortunately, a couple weeks into our relationship it began to give me nightmares, so we started muting it and turning on the closed caption. We cuddled up in bed and turned on late night cartoons. I was almost asleep when I felt Jasper's kiss my forehead and tell me goodnight. I thought I heard him say "I love you", but it could have been a dream.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning when I woke up Jasper was already gone for the day. There was no containing my happiness as thoughts of the day before came to the forefront of my mind. My classes didn't start until one o'clock, so I decided to do some cleaning. Our dorm just might have been the cleanest room in Benson Hall. With my OCD and Jasper's upbringing we were both pretty anal about cleanliness, just another thing we could add to the list of why we were compatible. I turned on the iPod and was getting a load of clothes together to take down to the laundry room when I heard a knock at the door.

"Coming," I yelled, stumbling over two of the piles I had in the floor.

The door opened just before I could get to it and in walked Emmett, like he fucking owned the place. His distressed jeans and button down shirt looked like they hadn't been changed since the day before and his black, curly hair was disheveled.

"What do you want?" I asked, seething. I was not Emmett's biggest fan. Most people assumed it was because of Jasper's dislike for him, but honestly the guy just left a bad taste in my mouth. He was pompous and belligerent; his behavior was nauseating. If he wasn't dating Rosalie he would have been just the type of guy to give Jasper shit for being smart.

"Don't be such a bitch, Bella. I'm here to help you out. Now, of course, if you don't want my help I could always leave."

"Fine. Bye." I tried to reach around him to open the door, but he blocked me.

"Wait, no. I'm sorry I was rude, just please hear me out. I know that your little boyfriend doesn't like me and honestly I don't give a shit, but it bothers Rosalie and it's putting a strain on our relationship. I also know that Rosalie doesn't care too much for you and that sooner or later that will start to bother Jasper. The way I see it, we're both in the same boat, but we can help each other out." He winked and gave me a sly smile. _Typical Emmett, always up to something. _

"You know nothing about Jasper's and my relationship. I don't want or need your help."

"I may not know about your relationship, but I do know how loyal he is to his sister." He looked at me knowingly. I took a minute to think. Was he right? Would Jasper eventually turn on me because of Rosalie? She had made it apparent that she wasn't giving up on mission kill the Swan. Jasper never gave me a clear reason why she didn't like me and I never let on that her dislike towards me effected me in any way, but I couldn't help but long for her acceptance.

"What do you want?" I asked for the second time.

"I want you to put in a good word for me with Jasper. We're all going to be spending Christmas break together and I'll be honest with you, Bella, I cannot take anymore of Rose's bitching. I love her, but she is so concerned with what's happening in your relationship that she's lost sight of her own. Please?"

"You're spending Christmas with the Cullens?" I was stunned. Carlisle and Esme were very nice and accepting, but Jasper led me to believe that they didn't like Emmett.

"Fuck, woman, do you have to ask so many questions?" he huffed. "Yes and you'll be glad, too. I'll help keep Rose away. I'll also tell her what a great girl you are… if you talk to him for me."

"Fine," I agreed. The promise to keep Rosalie away was way too good to pass up.

"Fine, what?" _Dumbass._

"Fine, I'll talk to Jasper." I shrugged.

"Good girl. You won't be sorry, Bella. This is going to make life much easier on the both of us. I swear." Something in his voice told me that I would, indeed, regret agreeing to do anything he asked.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Please review and not just my story, but any you read. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to Kitty Cullen for her beta'ing skills!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own!**

* * *

When I left Washington for New Hampshire, I left with the hope that I wouldn't have to seek approval. That everyone would either like me or leave me alone. I spent so much of my time in Forks, not really caring, but wondering why I never really fit in and then, there I was, staring at the door Emmett slipped out of, and right back in the same position; only… I did care. I wanted Rosalie to like me. She meant a lot to Jasper, which made it important to me that she accepted our relationship.

Moving back to my pile of clothes, I realized that Emmett's sudden appearance affected me more than it should have. His plan didn't make me believe that he could get Rosalie to like me, but I was confident that I had made the right decision. If I had to play a few games to make my potential sister-in-law see that I did truly love her brother, then that was what I would do. Old emotions of longing and insecurity bubbled to the surface. _Would I ever be good enough? _I shook my head to clear the thought the moment it appeared. I _was _good enough. I came a long way from being the shy, innocent teen that I was before. With the help of Jasper and Alice I had started to come into my own. There were slight changes in my demeanor that other people may not have noticed, but I did. I walked a little straighter. I took pride in my figure. I began to open up to people, whether they were close to me or not. The biggest thing was that my anxiety attacks, which I had since I was nine, halted.

I shoved my dirty clothes into two beige canvas laundry bags, grabbed my laptop, and made my way downstairs. Being late Friday morning, most students were already in their classes, so I got lucky and was able to load two washers at once. I sat down at one of the folding tables and decided to read my email. My mom, Renee, sent me something the day before, but I didn't have time to check it. There was something from Jessica asking about how things were going with Jasper and if I was still enjoying New Hampshire. I sent a quick reply and told her I hoped that she would be able to come and visit me during the spring. When I got to my mom's message I was reluctant to open it. She and Charlie weren't too happy about my decision to stay with Jasper's family for the holiday. It would be the first time since I was born that they spent Christmas alone, and my dad being the worrier of the family was always skeptical, not only of people, but of my decisions as well. I knew that he meant well, but he was going to have to learn to let go.

Shock ran through me as I read the few lines Renee had typed. She said that she understood and that she was young and in love once, too. The email closed with a promise to talk to my dad and an "I love you." Tears welled up in my eyes as I began to feel bad my choice. Washington was too far to travel for Thanksgiving and I really didn't want my first Christmas with Jasper to be spent apart. My mom was always so understanding. I often joked that she should have been a therapist instead of the eccentric interior designer she was. There were times where she was more my best friend than my mom, but no matter which role she was playing, she always knew just what to say to make me feel better. I sent her a quick reply, apologizing again and thanking her for her understanding. My mind was made up and it wouldn't feel right to go back on my decision after seeing how happy it made Jasper.

An hour and a half later I was back in my room, putting away my clothes when I heard the door open. It was too early for Jasper to be home, but hoped that he had decided to surprise me. It was Alice. She walked right in and took a seat on the bed.

"Are you going to do it?" She lay back and rested her elbows on the bed. Her smirk told me that she had been let in on mine and Emmett's secret.

"Do what?" I asked, continuing to fumble with the laundry.

"Emmett is my roommate, Bella, and believe it or not we are friends." She rolled her eyes as she finished. Alice never mentioned being friends with Emmett; in fact, she never really mentioned him at all. I wondered how she could stand to be around him.

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"Well?" Her tone held expectancy. I couldn't hide anything from Alice. She was the one person besides Renee that I opened up to completely.

"Yeah, I'm going to do it," I said, sitting down next to her. "I hope I made the right decision. I want her to like me, Alice. I want Jasper to like him. Every time we're in the same room with them it's miserable and now we're going to be spending Christmas break together. Three weeks under the same roof and honestly, I don't think I will be able to stay if she's mean. I don't want to put Jasper in that situation."

"I agree." She jumped off of the bed and walked over to me. I was still playing with the same shirt I was holding since before my rant, so Alice grabbed it and put it away.

"What? You do? And did you say you were friends with Emmett? How did I not know that?" I tried to move the conversation away from me.

"I don't know, but I am. Always have been; Jasper was, too. That's why I think this is a good thing. Emmett may be loud and obnoxious, but he is a good guy, at least, he's good for Rose and she isn't always a bitch, Bella. She's just worried about Jasper. I can't tell you their story, but they haven't always had it easy and she doesn't want to see him heartbroken." Her eyes grew soft as she talked about her cousins. I didn't really know that much about Jasper other then the fact that his parents dies and that's why him and Rosalie lived with the Cullen's.

"I'm not going to hurt him." I whispered.

"She doesn't know that and really, neither can you. You may love him now, but things happen, people change." She shrugged.

"I won't hurt him, Al. I swear."

"I know, honey. I'm just trying to make you see Rose's side." She placed her hand in the middle of my back and tried to comfort me.

"I just want her to give me a chance." I looked her in the eyes as I spoke, trying to show her just how true the statement was.

"Give it time, show her that you love him, and she'll come around. Don't worry. Everything will work out, okay?"

"Thank you," I said, turning back to my dresser.

"Now, let's talk about Thanksgiving."

"I thought we all decided not to do Thanksgiving since your parents are going out of town." My eyes wandered back to her. I couldn't deal with being stuck with Rosalie for another holiday.

"Yeah, but every year we go to iHop for breakfast. Edward, Rose and I would still like to do that." She seemed genuinely excited. I gulped.

"Rose?"

"She knows you're coming, Bella. Besides, it's not like she can attack you; we'll be in a public place," she said with a smirk.

Reluctantly, I agreed to the iHop thing. Who was I to fuck with family tradition? Maybe Emmett would get to Rosalie before then; he had two weeks. Alice and I spent most of the afternoon and the better part of the evening immersed in a Molly Ringwald movie marathon. I loved being around Alice. She was a happy person and in turn, made me want to be happy, too. We rarely talked about her, but when I pointed it out she said there wasn't much to tell. She's never had a boyfriend, got good grades in high school, and sat on the top of the social ladder. It was obvious to everyone that she and Edward had a very loving relationship. They didn't fight like a lot of siblings and there was absolutely nothing that Alice wouldn't do to make him happy.

We were half way through Sixteen Candles when Jasper walked in. He walked straight over to kiss my forehead and greet us hello. He very rarely hung out with us, so I was surprised when he sat down, wrapped his arms around my waist, and finished the movie. The second the credits started to roll Alice stood up and said something about needing to study. She gave Jasper and me both a quick hug before making her way back to her room. I turned to Jasper and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"How was your day?" I asked, snuggling into his side.

"Good. I'm exhausted, though. How was yours? What did you do?" He looked exhausted. His eyes appeared to be slightly puffy, yet, sunk in and I could tell he hadn't shaved in a couple of days.

"Laundry and Alice."

"You did Alice?" He laughed.

"You know what I meant." I swatted him playfully.

He chuckled before bringing his lips to mine. The kiss started off slowly, but quickly the passion built and there were things I had to say, and questions I wanted to ask, so I pushed him away. I saw the confusion in his eye, so I smiled and pecked him lightly.

"Sorry. We need to talk for a second. We can get back to that later."

"What's wrong?" He shifted away from me with panic in his eyes.

"Nothing, I was just wondering about you and Emmett. You don't really talk about him much and Alice mentioned that you used to be friends." While I hated to use Alice, it was a great way to start.

"Nothing happened. The guys an asshole. End of story." He turned away to face the TV. I could see his jaw clenching and unclenching. I imagined he was trying to calm himself down.

"There has to be more to it, Jasper. Why don't you like him?"

"He has Rose believing that he's going to marry her and I don't think it's going to happen. She dropped out of school because that was the decision the both of them came to as a couple and I know my sister, she would never had come to that conclusion on her own." He sounded more confident in that confession than I'd ever heard him.

"But you liked him before that?" I questioned.

"Yeah, we were friends before him and Rosalie. I didn't even know they were together until she told the family she was pregnant." Shock ran through me. I didn't see how that was possible. The impression I had been given was that Emmett and Rose were long term.

"Wait, how long have they been dating?"

"Three years." His voice was almost a whisper.

"And they didn't tell you?" I yelled, unintentionally.

"No. Rose thought I'd be upset." He shook his head while he spoke. His eyes never met mine.

"Would you have?"

"Probably. I don't think Emmett's the right guy for her," he said, honestly.

"I see, just like she doesn't think I'm the right girl for you." I looked down at my lap, trying to make sense of the bond between them.

"It's different." Each question I asked seemed to push him farther and farther away.

"No, Jasper, I don't think it is. Why are you and Rose so protective of each other? I get that you're brother and sister, but can't you just be happy for each other?"

"We've just been through a lot, that's all. What do you want for dinner?" He stood up and walked to our, what we call, kitchen.

"That's it? You're not going to elaborate?" I said in disbelief.

"Let it go, Bella. Just for tonight, please. It's been a long day and I'm really tired." He didn't sound angry, just slightly perturbed.

"Fine, for tonight." I stood up and went to get my pajamas. "Go ahead and eat. I've been eating junk all day with Alice, so I'm not hungry."

"You're mad." He accused.

"No, not mad." Just a little hurt. I wanted to add, but kept it to myself.

I made my way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I felt like I had been hit in the gut. Emmett was right. If I couldn't get Rose to accept me then Jasper would leave. I cried for the second time that day.

When my tears finally dried, I got in the shower and took my time. I couldn't let Jasper know that our conversation had upset me. My mind was made up that I would try again the next day to talk to Jasper about Emmett and hopefully follow through with my end of the deal. I got out of the shower; towel dried my hair, and slipped on my gray sweats and white t-shirt. With my mind made up, I walk out of there feeling much lighter than I did going in.

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Emmett first approached me. It was the day before Thanksgiving; the day I was going to have to face Rosalie. Jasper and I had many discussions about him trying to accept his sister's relationship. He was coming around, but I learned that he was more hurt by Emmett's deception than anything. I finished my last class of the day and was heading out to my car when I heard my name being called. I turned around to find Edward running toward me.

"Hey," I said with a genuine smile.

"Hey, can you study tonight?" He held up his Chemistry book and shook it in front of my face.

"Edward, I don't think that's a good idea. I really don't want a repeat of what happened last time." I sighed at the memory of Jasper and my first fight.

"I understand. I'll talk to Jasper next time. Thanks anyway, Bell." He looked sad, but there was nothing I could do. I wasn't only worried about Jasper, but didn't feel like putting up with Edward's banter.

"Yup." I nodded curtly.

Edward and I hadn't really talked since our episode with Jasper. We said hello in passing, but I wanted to let things calmed down before picking our friendship back up. Edward was very respectful of my relationship. Once things were official he backed off and never said a word, so Jasper's freak out wasn't only uncalled for, but completely unwarranted.

I rushed back to Benson Hall, happy to have Alice coming over to help me find something to wear for the next day. When I got there she was already in my room with a variety of clothes I'd never seen.

"Take your pick." She waved her arm over the display.

"Where did you get all of these clothes, Alice?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"I found a really good sale at the boutique you like. I knew you wanted to look good tomorrow and figured you'd need some for Christmas break as well. You can consider it an early Christmas gift." I rushed to her and wrapped my arms around her neck.

"Thank you, Alice. Thank you so much."

"Eh, it's nothing. Try them on." She sounded so encouraging that I did what I was told.

After trying on every outfit I settled for a pair of distressed jeans, white lace blouse, and a black cardigan. Since we were only having breakfast I didn't want to overdo it. I kissed Alice's cheek and thanked her again. I was overwhelmed by her generosity and would eventually find a way to repay her. In no way was I ready to face Rosalie. She had avoided the dorms like the plague and for that, I was grateful. I changed out of my new clothes and into something I could lounge in. I lay down on the bed and waited for Jasper to get home.

* * *

**Necessary filler. Hope you guys paid attention! Please R&R**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to Kitty Cullen for loaning me her beta'ing skills.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own**

* * *

_Her hair rubbed against my leg gently. It tickled, yet, was pleasurable as it was a good contrast to the pressure of her lips wrapped around my cock. I watched her head bob up and down. Fuck, she was a pro. She looked up and caught me staring at her. My dick popped out of her mouth and she licked up the side with a smirk._

"_You like that, Baby?" she asked, already knowing the answer. _

"_Fuck…yeah… don't stop." I placed my hand on the back of her head and moved her back into position. She took me back into her mouth greedily. My head fell back on the pillow and my eyes squeezed shut. I was on the verge cumming when my phone started to buzz._

"_That's Rosalie. You better answer it," she said, but I could still feel her lips wrapped tightly around me. Stupid phone. Stupid ringtone. Stupid fucking Rosalie._

"_No… no. She'll call back," I panted, giving her a head a light nudge. _

"_Jasper, answer the phone." She sounded annoyed. Her lips released the hold they had on my dick, causing me to groan in frustration. _

"_Bella, not-"_

"Jasper, answer you're fucking phone." I felt a smack across my chest before I realized that the voice was coming from beside me.

_Fuck_ was the first thought that came to mind when I realized my first ever blow job was a dream. I scrunched up my eyes, willing her to go away.

"You better call your sister back."

"In a few minutes."

"What were you dreaming about?" she asked with a giggle, trailing her finger tips up and down my neck.

"I don't know," I lied, hoping that's where the conversation would end there and I could go back to sleep.

"Tell me. What happened in your dream to make you this hard?" she asked, wrapping her warm hand around my length and giving it a squeeze. She moved closer to me and attached her lips to my neck, licking and nipping. My eyes remained closed, visions of her sucking me off in my dream playing behind them as she stroked me.

"Bella," I groaned. I wasn't going to last long. My dream had gotten me so worked up I was ready to explode from the mere contact. I reached down to the inside of her thigh, speedily headed north, but she pushed me away.

"Nuh uh, not right now." The lustful authority in her voice spoke straight to my cock and caused me to release all over her hand and my quilt. She placed soft kisses along my jaw as I calmed. I opened my eyes and pulled her face to mine, kissing her gently. It was only the second time she had touched me like that, but I was already feeling more comfortable with our new found intimacy. I told myself that the next time around, I would be the one to initiate.

"Good morning," I said as I moved to sit up.

"Good morning. Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving." Is what I said, but I didn't really find anything happy about it. We were going to meet my family for breakfast and I could already see that it was a disaster waiting to happen.

Bella gathered the quilt in her hand, wiping herself clean as she did. She took it with her as she got out of the bed. I watched her throw it in the dirty clothes before walking over to her dresser and taking out a fresh set of underwear.

"I'm going to start getting ready. You need to call your sister back," she said, walking into the bathroom.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand. I dreaded calling Rose. The last thing I wanted to hear was her bitch about Bella going to 'family' breakfast. My sister and I have always been protective of each other, and maybe if Bella had been some other girl, I would have listened to her advice, but she was going to have to understand that I wasn't budging. I planned on Bella being around for a long, long time. With a heavy sigh I turned over the phone, went to the call log, and hit send on the first missed call.

"_Happy Thanksgiving," she answered._

"Happy Thanksgiving, Rose. What's up?" My words were rushed due to the anticipation of what she had to say.

"_Why didn't you answer?"_

"We were sleeping." It was the second white lie I told that morning, but I did it more for her sake than mine. I heard her groan quietly before she started to speak again.

"_Oh, well we're supposed to be at breakfast in an hour. Emmett's on his way here with Alice." _It was the first time in months that she mentioned Emmett's name and I didn't visibly cringe. Bella and I talked about him and Rose a lot and I was starting to think that maybe I was being a little too hard on him. I wanted Rose to like Bella, and even though our situations were different, I wanted to at least try to extend the same courtesy.

"We'll be there, but Rose? Please be nice today," I pled.

"_It's Thanksgiving, Jasper. Of course I'll be nice."_ Her tone was sugary sweet, but sincere; it made the smile return to my face.

After we said our goodbyes I got up to get ready. I would like to say that I wasn't shocked that Rosalie agreed to be nice to Bella, but I'd be lying. In the couple of months that Bella and I had been dating Rose had only said a total of seven words to her; "hello", "goodbye", "What are your intentions?", and "whatever". Being my first relationship, I wanted Rosalie's approval, but I knew that it probably wouldn't have mattered who I was with; she wouldn't like them. Her outlook on life was "you can't trust anyone", and while I understood her reasoning, I wished she had more faith in me and my decisions.

When Bella came out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, she was all primped and read to go. She always looked beautiful, but I could tell that she put in more effort than usual. Her hair was curled and thrown up in a neat ponytail. The clear gloss she wore on a daily basis was replaced with a light pink, and she had on more makeup than she would normally wear, but not enough to take away from her natural beauty. Alice obviously went shopping for her, but the clothes she picked were fitting and not too far off from what Bella would have chosen for herself. I got my things together and hurried into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready to go. Luckily, it didn't take me long and Bella and I were out the door in twenty minutes. We were going to be a few minutes late, but no one in our family was ever on time anyway.

On our way to the restaurant, Bella kept fidgeting. I looked over at her a few times, but she never said anything, just gave me a small smile. I placed my hand on her thigh as she pulled down the mirror and began to play with her hair.

"You look beautiful, Bella."

"Thanks," she whispered, putting the mirror back in place.

"What's the matter?" I gave her knee a squeeze.

"Just a little nervous, that's all. I'll be okay." She shrugged.

"If this is about Rose, you don't have to worry. She promised to be nice." I smiled as the words left my mouth. I was proud of my sister.

"What? You asked her to be nice to me?" She sighed and turned to look out the window. "Jasper, I want her to be nice to me because she wants to be, because she likes me. I'm a big girl and I can handle myself and I really don't want her thinking that I can't." She wasn't angry, just slightly annoyed.

"She doesn't think that. I want us to have a peaceful day. That's why I talked to Rose, not because I don't think you can handle yourself."

She nodded her understanding with a weak smile. Her fidgeting never ceased, but every once in a while she would hear a song she liked and nodded to the tune. By the time we were pulled into the iHop parking lot she seemed to have calmed slightly.

"If you get uncomfortable we can leave, okay?"

"I'm sure it will be fine," she said, but her tone wasn't convincing.

We walked into the restaurant, where the hostess led us to our table. The only person missing was Edward. I silently wished that he forgot what day it was. Rosalie stood up and gave me a one armed hug; her belly which had doubled in a short time, poked into my abdomen. I reached my hand out and patted it gently, causing her to giggle. She and Emmett decided not to find out the sex of the baby. Esme was disappointed, but got over it pretty quickly when she still found plenty to buy. While I wasn't happy that my sister got pregnant fourteen months before she was due to graduate, I was excited to meet my niece of nephew, even if Emmett was the father.

"Bella," Rosalie said, with a nod in her direction.

"Hello, Rosalie," she answered quietly, walking over to take a seat next to Alice. They fell into easy conversation, and within minutes Bella was visibly more relaxed.

I took a seat on the other side of her, across from Emmett. As I sat down I said hello and he did the same. Rosalie was pleased with the interaction. We sat and talked while we waited for Edward to show up. I jumped in and out of conversation with both sides of the table, but didn't mind since things were peaceful. The waitress came by to take our drink order and after dropping them off said she would return once the rest of our party arrived. Fifteen minutes later I looked out the window to see Edward's black Lexus pulling in. I groaned to myself before announcing his arrival. He walked in, cooler than ever. I couldn't tell if he was tired or hung over, but either way his disheveled appearance wasn't surprising.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, sliding into his seat.

No one acknowledged his apology seeing as he said the same thing every year. The waitress was apparently waiting nearby and came to take his drink order immediately. When she came back she asked us if we were ready to order. Of course, we were, we had been there enough times to know what we wanted. Being Thanksgiving we knew that the wait for our food would take a while, however, no one seemed to care. Bella, Alice, and Edward were in deep conversation when I noticed Rose glance in Bella's direction.

"So, Bella, you're from Washington?" Rosalie asked sweetly.

"Uh… yeah… Forks," Bella stumbled over her words. She was as shocked as everyone else sitting at the table. We all looked back and forth between the two of them, waiting impatiently to see what would happen.

"Never heard of it. Is it a small town?" She cocked her head to the side as she spoke. She seemed genuinely interested, but I had already told her all of that before.

"Extremely small," she said, nodding enthusiastically. "It's about four hours outside of Seattle."

"We're from Austin," Rosalie said, motioning between the two of us.

"Do you like New Hampshire?" Bella looked happy to finally be having a conversation with Rose.

"No," Rose answered, her tone was harsh. We all knew that Rosalie didn't like it there, but there was no reason or way for Bella to know.

"Hey, can I talk to you outside for a minute?" Edward asked me, leaning across the table. I really didn't want to leave Bella, but thought she would be okay with Alice.

I moved my chair back and stood up without a reply. He followed me outside. When we got right outside the door, I turned to him and crossed my arms over my chest. He looked like he was worried about something, but I refused to speculate. He ran his fingers through his hair and with a deep sigh started to speak.

"Dude, I really need Bella's help." His words came out so fast I wasn't sure that I heard him correctly. I dropped my arms and opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I took a minute to think before I finally responded.

"What?"

"I asked her to help me with my Chemistry, but she said no. Look, I know I'm not your favorite person, but I'm not going to pass this exam if I don't get some help, bro." He was probably telling the truth. Edward didn't like to study and always had someone doing his homework for him. I wondered briefly what was the cause of the sudden interest.

"You should have thought about that before. Isn't there anyone else that can help you?"

"I guess, but fuck, Jasper, I don't really have time to find someone else, not unless you want to do it," he said as he started to pace. Edward was nothing, if not a good actor.

"You know I don't have time." It was the end of the semester and I didn't have time to tutor anyone. I hardly had time for my own studies.

"Exactly." He threw his arms in the air as if he were making a point.

I rubbed my forehead in frustration. If I said no, I was a dick. If I said yes, there was always the chance that his intentions weren't as innocent as he led on.

"Fine," I stated firmly.

"Really? Oh man, I owe you… big." He smacked my shoulder and smiled. I could tell he was shocked, but he looked more excited than anything.

We walked back inside and immediately I knew something was wrong. Emmett had his hand resting on Rosalie's forearm and was whispering something in her ear. He didn't look happy, but neither did she. Alice's arm was wrapped around Bella's shoulder and it almost looked as if she were restraining her. Bella's eyes were filled with tears and trained on Rosalie. Edward and I picked up our pace. Just as we were about to approach, Rosalie turned back to the girls.

"Well, it seems like you have every snow balled, but-" Rose's tone was harsh and accusing. I had to intervene before she got out of hand.

"Rosalie," I chastised.

She looked down at the table, ashamed. I walked over to Bella and squatted beside her chair.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We were talking and she kept asking me about living and Forks. Then she asked me if I ever had a boyfriend before. I don't know what I said to make her so mad." A tear ran down her face as she finished.

"She's not over him." Rosalie pointed her finger accusingly at her. She was livid and she wanted me to know it.

"Let's get out of here, okay?" I asked Bella, putting my finger under her chin and lifting her face to look at me. She nodded, but diverted her eyes away from me.

"I'm coming with you guys." Alice shocked us all as she got up out of her seat and grabbed her bags.

I threw some money down on the table before turning back to Rosalie. I couldn't find the right words to express how I felt, so I kept my mouth shut. She knew how disappointed I was and didn't bother to even look my way.

"I'm sorry," Emmett said. He truly looked apologetic, but he wasn't the one that needed to apologize.

"Don't apologize for her." My tone was harsher than necessary, but I was pissed. Rosalie had once again, lied to me.

"Can we please just go?" Bella asked, staring down at the ground.

I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and pulled her into my side. She rested her head on my chest as we walked out of the restaurant. When we got to the car Alice pulled her away from me and asked her to sit with her in the back. She agreed without hesitation. As I sped back to Benson Hall I watched and listened to Alice's interaction with her. She really was a true friend, for which I was grateful. No one mentioned Rosalie, but I knew that it would be a while before Bella got over the way she had been treated. Hell, it would take me a while to get over it, too.

When we got back to the dorms Alice kissed Bella on the forehead and apologized to me for Rosalie's behavior. I told her the same thing I told Emmett. Rosalie's actions were her own and I was getting tired of everyone making excuses for her. Yes, she was pregnant. Yes, I was her baby brother. And yes, we had been through a lot, but that didn't give her the right to treat others poorly. After we said goodbye to Alice we went back to our room. Bella didn't say anything as she grabbed her pajamas and slipped into the bathroom. I sat down on our bed and stared at the door, waiting for her to come out. I sat up a little bit straighter once she emerged. She wore a solemn expression as she walked over to me. She sat down in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"She's never going to like me, Jasper," she said, sniffing into my neck.

"Please, just give her some time. Rosalie isn't an easy person to get along with, but she'll come around." The words sounded honest, even to me, but the truth was that I didn't know if Rose would ever warm up to Bella.

We sat there in silence for a while before Bella decided she was hungry. We ordered a pizza and watched some movies. It wasn't the Thanksgiving either of us expected, but once her mood brightened, the day got better and I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend the day. When we went to bed that night, I had a lot on my mind. I worried that Bella would end up leaving because of Rose. I worried about her spending time with Edward and tried to make myself believe that he really did just need her help. There as less than a month to Christmas break; I hoped that things would fix themselves by then.

* * *

**Just a reminder that the Forgotten Femmes Anonymous Contest ends on the 31st!! http://fanfiction(dot)net/~theforgottenfemmes or our blog http://theladiesoftwilight(dot)com**

**Also, Jaspers Sex Kitten and I have teamed up to write Darksper and Darkmett fics. You can find us here, on FFn under the penname Twisted Minds Think Alike. Our first story will post on the 1st! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, and fav'd. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I don't always get back to everyone, but I try. I assume you all would rather my words than to hear me say "thank you for the review" every chapter. **

**Thanks to Kitty Cullen for beta'ing this for me!!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own!**

* * *

"That's not right." I shook my head in annoyance. It was the fourth time Edward had gotten the answer wrong and I all but spelled it out for him. We only had two weeks until exams and we were getting nowhere.

"What the fuck am I doing wrong?" He ran his hands through his hair and turned on the stool to face me. He looked genuinely upset, which quickly washed away my annoyance.

"It's alright, look let's work through it again and if you don't get it, we'll move on to something else for a while, okay?" I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder and rubbed it gently. It was meant to be comforting, something that came natural to me, but it seemed to make him uncomfortable, so I stopped.

"Bella…" he trailed off. He shook his head before laughing. I'm sure my confusion was apparent, but he didn't comment. He put his hand on my knee and looked me in the eye. I knew that look. It was the "Edward Cullen wins again" look and I hoped beyond hope that it wasn't directed towards me.

"We can work on it tomorrow, Bella. Would that be okay? I need to get going. He started trailing his fingertips over my knee and up my leg. I grabbed his hand and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Actually, Edward, I have plans with Jasper tomorrow afternoon," I said with a grimace as I shooed his hand away from my leg. He chuckled.

"The next day then." He stood up, gathered his books, and kissed my cheek before heading for the door. That wasn't as surprising as the way he was trailing his fingers over me, though. Edward had always been friendly. A natural flirt, I guess.

I watched him dart out the door, not giving me a chance to respond. He really didn't know anything about Chemistry, so I would continue to help him and let the leg incident go. Perhaps I gave him the wrong impression when I tried to ease his worry over his exam. Unfortunately, I was known for sending mixed signals, especially when it came to Edward Cullen. Alice told me, before I got with Jasper, that she was sure I it was Edward that I was after. She was clearly mistaken. The Cullen- Hale girls were damn good at making assumptions. Rosalie proved that.

Thanksgiving breakfast was going great. I was thrilled when Rose started talking to me. The conversation started off pleasant, with both of us giggling and smiling, but the second Jasper walked away her demeanor changed. Thinking back on it, I should have known she was just waiting for the opportunity to call me out on something.

"_So, Bella, you're from Washington?" Rosalie asked, shocking the shit out me and everyone else at the table. _

"_Uh… yeah… Forks." I mentally slapped myself for stumbling over my words. I sounded like an idiot. Everyone was staring at us, just waiting for something to happen. _

"_Never heard of it. Is it a small town?" She cocked her head to the side as she spoke, looking genuinely interested._

"_Extremely small; it's about four hours outside of Seattle."_

"_We're from Austin." She waved her hand between her and Jasper as she spoke. Of course, I already knew where they were from, but it was nice to be having a conversation with her. _

"_Do you like New Hampshire?" _

"_No," she said flatly. I noticed Alice bristle beside me. What did I say wrong? _

_I heard Edward ask Jasper if he could talk to him for a minute and started to panic when they got up to leave. Alice and Emmett were still sitting with me, but still, it felt like I was being thrown into the lion's den. Alice gave my knee a quick pat. I turned to look at her and she gave me a small, encouraging smile. _

"_You sound like you liked living in Washington. What made you decide on New Hampshire?" Rose's voice brought me back to reality, giving me hope that all wasn't lost._

"_Um, honestly, I'm not sure. I was accepted to a few different places, but Dartmouth had a lot more to offer. I thought it would be the best choice, just in case I decided to change majors or explore my options." _

"_That's understandable." She nodded, taking a sip of her water. "You seem to be pretty close to Edward and Alice." The smile was gone from her face. I wondered where the statement came from, but answered her anyway._

"_Yeah, they have been very welcoming." _

"_That's nice." She didn't sound like she thought it was nice at all. "Tell me about living in Washington. Did you leave lots of friends behind? A boyfriend?"_

"_No. My best friend and really only friend left Washington the day after I did and I've only dated one guy other than Jasper. He ended things before summer." _

"He _ended things. Are you still friends?" She picked up her water and began sipping it like we were having a conversation over tea. _

"_I guess. I don't harbor any resentment or anything. Mike's a good guy; he just wasn't ready for a commitment."_

"_And you are?"She raised her brow. _

"_Yes, I am." I retorted honestly. _

"_What makes you so sure that Jasper's ready? I mean, you are his first girlfriend. Who's to say that once he realizes he doesn't have to settle he won't want to move on, too." My heart sunk with every word she spoke._

"_Stop it, Rose." Emmett snapped._

"_No. She needs to know. Don't get too invested in my brother. I don't see it lasting long," she said smugly. She knew she was getting to me._

"_I said stop, Rosalie."_

_Emmett grabbed her arm and she turned to face him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but couldn't pull my gaze away from Rose. What the fuck had I done to make her dislike me so much? Alice was trying to get my attention, but I didn't want to be bothered. Everything Rosalie said confirmed my fears. Jasper would leave. I don't know what Emmett said to her, but she turned back to me with a deadly glare. _

"_Well, it seems like you have every snow balled, but-"_

"_Rosalie," Jasper yelled, interrupting her rant that hadn't even begun. He moved quickly to my side, but I couldn't look at him. I loved him so much it hurt and the thought of losing him was tearing me up inside. _

"_What happened?" _

"_I don't know. We were talking and she kept asking me about living and Forks. Then she asked me if I ever had a boyfriend before. I don't know what I said to make her so mad." His hand reached out to stroke my cheek and that was it, the flood gates opened. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I wanted to tell him that nothing happened, that everything was okay, but I couldn't lie, not to him. _

"_She's not over him." My head shot up. Did I say something to give her that impression? I didn't understand._

"_Let's get out of here, okay?" Jasper asked, putting his finger under my chin and lifting my face to look at him. I nodded, unable to form a response. My eyes shifted to an invisible spot on the wall. I couldn't look at him. _

"_I'm coming with you guys." I heard Alice, but I didn't want to deal with anyone. If she came, she came. I stood up and followed Jasper to the opposite side of the table. He took some money out of his wallet and threw it down on the table. _

"_I'm sorry." I had never heard Emmett sound sincere until that moment. _

"_Don't apologize for her." Jasper's tone was harsh, but it wasn't directed towards Emmett and we all knew it. We had to get out of there before things escalated. _

"_Can we please just go?" I still hadn't looked at anyone. I couldn't. I was embarrassed. Not only had I ruined Thanksgiving breakfast, but I cause yet another rift in Jasper's relationship with his sister. _

_Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his body. I laid my head on his chest as we walked out of the restaurant. Alice, oh sweet, amazing, loving Alice pulled me in the back seat with her when we got to the car. She played with my hair and told me funny stories about her childhood, trying to take my mind off of what happened. It worked until we were back at the dorms and out of the car. I could see the disappointment on Jasper's face. He was upset by what happened, and even though I knew he wasn't upset with me, it still bothered me that he was thrown in the middle of Rosalie and me._

_Alice told me to call her if I needed to and said her goodbyes. I wasn't ready to deal with Jasper yet, so I went straight to the dresser, grabbed my pajamas, and then headed for the shower. While I let the stream warm my body, my mind played my conversation with Rosalie on repeat. Don't get too invested in my brother. I don't see it lasting long. Over and over again. It took me a couple of minutes to come to the conclusion that if I wanted to be with Jasper I would have to just deal with the fact that his sister would never like me, and one day he decided to leave with me, well, then I'd just have to deal with that when it happened. The continuous worry would only cause it to end before it really had the change to being. I owed it to myself and to Jasper to give us an honest try and not run away at the slightest hint of trouble. In no way was I okay with the way Rose had treated me and I was still concerned about what the future would hold, but I wouldn't hold it against him._

_I got dressed and solemnly made my way out of the bathroom, not fully ready to face Jasper yet, but ready to get it over with. The minute his face came into view I felt a little better. When I reached him I immediately sat down in his lap, looking to be comforted. He didn't disappoint, wrapping his arms around me securely and letting me hide my face in the crock of his neck. We sat in silence until I was ready to talk. _

"_She's never going to like me, Jasper," I said, talking into his neck. He was quiet for a minute, so I wasn't sure he heard me._

"_Please, just give her some time. Rosalie isn't an easy person to get along with, but she'll come around." His words sounded convincing, but we both knew there was always the possibility that she may never come around. _

"_Thank you," I whispered. Jasper pulled away from me and gave me a curious look._

"_What are you thanking me for? It's me who should be thanking you, Bella. You have no reason to put up with Rosalie, yet, you do. That means a lot to me."_

"_I love you, Jasper. There isn't much I wouldn't do for you." It was the first time I told him I loved him, but I needed him to know. Without any way of knowing how things would work out, I had to tell him just in case. He beamed up at me. I don't think I had ever seen him smile so bright._

"_I love you, too." The words rolled off of his tongue so easily that I knew they were true. He didn't think about, or second guess himself. It wasn't the way I thought we would declare our love, but it was perfect. We both needed to say it._

_We sat there in silence, staring at one another until my stomach growled, letting me know it was time to eat. We ordered a pizza and watched movies. All and all, sans Rose, it was a great Thanksgiving. I could tell Jasper was still upset, but wasn't exactly sure why. When we went to bed that night he held me tighter than he ever had. _

Things seemed to go back to normal after that. Rosalie called Jasper numerous times the following day, but he wasn't ready to talk to her. I couldn't blame him. When she called for the fourth time on Saturday I could tell that rejecting her calls was taking a toll on him and begged him to answer. He did and she apologized. She promised to be more civil during Christmas break, but neither of us believed her. I wasn't sure how I felt about Rose. I wanted to like her, but the way she treated me made me despise her. She had my curiosity peeked before I even stepped foot in New Hampshire and even after all she was putting Jasper and me through I still wanted to get to know her.

I heard Jasper's keys rattle in the door and jumped off of my stool, excited that he was home. When the door open a smile spread across his face as he noticed that I was waiting for him. He didn't have time to put down his things before I wrapped my arms around his neck and attacked his lips with mine. Once our kiss was broken he chuckled.

"Miss me?"

"Mhm. Did you have a good day?"

"It was good. I'll be glad once exams are over with, though. How about you? What did you do?"

"Went to morning classes, and then to yoga. Edward came over to study, but wasn't here very long." I watched for his reaction, but there wasn't one. He walked over our desk and sat his down, just like usual.

"Well, I'm glad you're in a good mood. Want to do something tonight?" He asked, walking towards me. I let my eyes take in his appearance. His disheveled jeans and tight v-neck sweater complimented his body so well. I couldn't believe that he was mine. He slipped his hands onto my waist and looked down at me.

"Like?"

"Whatever you want." He shrugged. It was unlike Jasper to be so laid back around test time, but I knew he was doing it for me.

"Should we be studying?" I raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

"Studying it is." He turned away and went into self-made-mini-kitchen. I laughed, knowing that studying is exactly what he wanted to do.

We sat together in front of the muted television, with books and papers scattered everywhere, and studied. Both of us could have afforded the night off, but I was a strong believer in the "better safe than sorry" policy anyway. The first semester would be ending soon and I wanted it to end on a good note. I left Forks to start fresh and that's exactly what I did. The only negative thing about my Dartmouth experience had been Rosalie, so I thought I was doing pretty well. There was only two weeks and two days until Christmas break and I couldn't wait. I was looking forward to spending some alone time, away from the dorm, with Jasper and was even excited to get to know the rest of the Cullen's. While we were sitting there I realized that I hadn't told Jasper about the Edward, hand, leg situation. He made me promise him that if Edward tried anything I would come and talk to him. I let it go, not really considering what happened a big deal. I was a little nervous about Edward's earlier behavior and knew if something similar were to happen again, I would have to say something.

A couple hours into our study session Jasper asked me if I wanted to go grab a bite to eat. I eagerly agreed, ready to get out of the room. We walked hand in hand down to the campus sub shop. We were standing in line when I heard Alice call my name. I turned around and saw her, some girl, Edward, and Kate, a girl I recognized from English, sitting in a booth. I smiled and waved before holding my finger up to tell her I'd be there in a minute. Before I turned around to order I noticed Edward's hand intertwined with Kate's. I let out a breath, relieved that maybe earlier had been innocent if Edward Cullen was in public, with a sophomore, holding her hand.

* * *

**Could it be? Is Edward actually interested in Kate and not Bella? Hope this answered some questions. Reviews are always nice. **

**Christmas break begins next chapter. Woot! I'm excited. **

**I have two new stories posted if you're interested.**

**Voting for the Forgotten Femmes Anonymous Contest is now open. Some good Jasper pairing. Go check them out http://fanfiction (dot) net/ ~theforgottenfemmes**

**Until next time.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Huge thanks to my beta Kitty Cullen who constantly has to remind me that I'm too hard on myself. **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own**

* * *

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked me for the third time in an hour. It took all that I had not to scream. I tried to remind myself that he was just as nervous about going home for break as I was.

"Not even close," I said, rolling my eyes; not at Jasper, but at the situation. He sighed loudly.

"It's going to be fine, Bella. Esme and Carlisle won't let Rosalie treat you poorly, not in their home. If you're having a terrible time we can leave. I want you to spend time with my family, but I would never want to you feel uncomfortable." He rubbed my back, trying to sooth me as he talked.

"Okay."

"Okay?" he asked, lowering his head to look in my eyes. I nodded before pecking his lips and returning to my bags.

The two weeks leading up to our trip had been hell. Jasper and I were so busy with end of semester stuff that we hadn't seen each other and I was constantly worried about spending time at the Cullen's with Rosalie. The only relief that Jasper and I had were the few time we got to hang out with friends. Our schedules conflicted, so when I had free time I spent it with Alice and Emmett, and when he had free time, he spent it with his role playing buddies. He never said that he missed spending his weekends hiding out in Tyler's mom's basement, but I had a feeling he did. When we got together we shut everyone else out, so as the newness of our relationship started to wear off we were both ready for interaction with other people. My parents emailed me often and complained that I didn't call home enough. I couldn't blame them – I didn't. Between school and Jasper I didn't have time to worry about anything else, or maybe I just didn't want to.

There were times, more often than not, where I regretted my decision to not spend Christmas at home. I missed my family, but most of all I didn't want to feel like an outcast. With the new baby coming, Emmett was already considered part of the family. He and Rosalie had made it clear that they had every intention to get married as soon as she got her figure back. I laughed when Alice shared that tiny bit of information and remember thinking that that sounded exactly like something Rosalie would do. There was no denying that Emmett loved her, and I was sure that he would have married her no matter what she looked like, not that she was ever unattractive. Even at eight months pregnant, Rose was the most beautiful woman I had ever known.

After the IHop incident I spent some time getting to know Emmett. I felt like I owed him for the way he stood up for me. Alice had said that he wasn't that bad and she was right. He was loud and sometimes annoying, but underneath the tough guy, jerk off exterior, he was a sweetheart. It made me feel better about asking Jasper to give him a chance. From what Emmett said it was Rosalie's decision to keep their relationship from Jasper. He said that Rosalie's protective nature was nothing in comparison to Jasper's. I didn't understand why, but knew there was a reason. I hoped that one day I would find out what happened to make them distrust people so adamantly.

Things didn't change much with Edward in those two weeks. He came around to study, but we didn't see him lurking around the dorms like he usually did. Alice said that he had been hanging with Kate and the two of them were growing close. I was happy and hopeful. Edward needed to find a girl that could not only tame him, but put up with him, too. He had a good heart, but he was also arrogant, competitive, and smug. Two days before Winter break began he ran into our room and scooped me up into a hug, thanking me for helping him study. He passed his exam. Jasper was relieved that that was over and without incident.

"All set?" Jasper asked, sitting his bag by the door.

"Mhm, just give me two minutes," I said, holding up my one finger and heading towards the restroom. The house wasn't too far, I could have waited, but I was stalling.

"I'm going to run our bags down to the car. I'll meet you down there." He kissed my check before throwing both of our bags over his shoulder and heading out. It wasn't until then that the butterflies really started to flutter and the small, dry lump that had lingered in the back of my throat the entire duration of the previous two weeks grew bigger. I was beginning to panic. Something I hadn't done since moving to New Hampshire. I ran to my dresser quickly and pulled out the dreaded brown bottle that I hadn't touched in months. I popped one of the pills Dr. Johansson prescribed to me back and Forks and took a seat on the bed. Some may say that my freak out was irrational, but to me it made perfect sense. I was going to be stuck, for three weeks, with the Ice Queen; the same woman who had verbally attacked me three weeks previous.

Whether it was the magic of the blue pill or the mantra I played in my head, it didn't take me long to calm down. All thoughts of using the restroom were forgotten and I made my way down to the car, but not before throwing my anxiety medication in my purse – just in case. No one at Dartmouth knew about my problem and I planned to keep it that way. I hated that half the town of Forks knew about my "disorder". It felt like they were just waiting for me to break down, even after my parents assured them that that wasn't going to happen. As I neared the car I was feeling quite a bit calmer. Jasper was waiting for me by the passenger side door and already had it opened for me.

"Is everything alright?"

"Fine," I said with a smile as I took my seat.

The ride to the house was quiet, for which I was grateful. I sat back in my seat and enjoyed the view that the ride offered. Our drive wasn't too long, but at the same time, not long enough. Jasper told me that Esme and Carlisle were thrilled that all of their children were able to get into Dartmouth so that they could be close to home. I had a feeling that they weren't the only happy ones. Jasper may act like he doesn't care for Edward, but something tells me that if any of them were to move away from the family, the unit wouldn't feel whole.

When we pull up to the house the door swings open and Esme is out the door before Jasper even has time to park. I stepped out of the car, dragging a little more than usual, and was immediately swept up into a hug.

"It's good to see you again, Bella. I'm so glad you will be staying with us." She pulled away, but grabbed me by the elbow. "Are you hungry? Come on, let's go inside. Jasper can get everything out of the car." She didn't even give me time to respond before pulling me into the house.

I had been to the Cullen's home twice before that. Once for Jasper to drop something off and once for dinner, but I still couldn't get over the beauty of the old white Victorian. The night we had dinner with Carlisle and Esme I commented on the immaculate state that the house was in. They laughed it off, saying that it really needed work, but to me, it was perfect. For sure the grandest home I had ever been in.

"Kate will be joining us for dinner. Have you two met?"

"No, not really. I mean, we have a class together, but I don't really know her."

"Well, she seems like a sweet girl. It's about time Edward found someone he's interested in." She smiled with hope in her eyes. I wanted to laugh and tell her that Edward had, in fact, been interested in many girls, just not in the way she wanted. Everyone knew that Edward was Esme and Carlisle's golden boy. He got good grades, never brought a girl home, and excelled at sports.

My afternoon flew by. Rosalie was out with Emmett, so I didn't have to deal with her, and Jasper left me in the kitchen to converse with Esme. She was surprisingly easy to talk to and thanks to my handy blue pill, so was I. Alice and Edward came in around three. Edward went straight to his room and Alice came to talk to us for a while before disappearing. Carlisle had yet to make an appearance, but Esme said he would be home late that evening. I offered to help cook after I went to check on Jasper and found him sitting at the computer desk with a game remote in hand. I knew it could be hours before he quit playing.

After I did all I could to help I ran up the stairs to get cleaned up. I felt odd about sharing a room with Jasper, but he kept reassuring me that no one cared. When I walked into the room to grab some fresh clothes and toiletries to take with me to the restroom, I saw Alice rummaging through Jasper's closet. He was glaring at her from his spot on the bed, but wouldn't say anything.

"What are you doing, Alice?"

"Finding Jasper something to wear."

"Leave him alone, Alice. We aren't even going anywhere. Geesh," I said, rolling my eyes. She never really cared to mess with Jasper, but when she was bored she liked to find a willing guinea pig.

"That doesn't mean he can't look good. He's been up here on his computer for over four hours and my mom's been hogging you. You guys can let me have a little bit of fun." She was pouting. I put my hands up in surrender and gave Jasper an apologetic look before running out the door.

I took my time getting ready, not wanting to hear the tantrum Jasper was going to throw over whatever Alice had planned for him. I threw on a pair of old stone washed jeans with one of the sweaters Alice bought me. The outfit was comfortable, but attractive. I had just finished with my hair and was moving onto my make-up when I hear a knock at the door.

"Just a second," I yelled, sitting down the pencil I was getting ready to use.

I opened the door to find Kate standing on the other side.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just wanted to see if you could use any help," she said cheerfully.

"Oh, um, I'm almost done." I moved back in front of the mirror and resumed putting on my eyeliner. Kate hadn't moved from the doorway.

"Is everything okay, Kate?" I looked at her through the mirror as I talked.

"Yeah, I just felt a little uncomfortable down there by myself." She gave me a small smile. I knew exactly what she meant. The Cullen family was so close that it was hard not to feel like an outcast.

"I understand," I nodded my head fiercely.

"How long have you and Jasper been together, Bella?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Um, four months. Why?"

"I was just wondering." She looked down at the ground and began shuffling her feet. I could tell there was something more on her mind.

"Is something bothering you?" I turned around and rested my backside on the counter.

"He likes you, you know?" She was talking to the ground. My eyebrows were scrunched up in confusion. Of course Jasper liked me. I didn't understand her reasoning behind the statement.

"Well, I would hope so. Otherwise I wouldn't be here, but why is that so upsetting?" My question came out harsher than I intended, but for some reason I felt very defensive.

"I'm not talking about Jasper. Edward… Edward likes you. I know I have nothing to worry about. I can tell that you love Jasper, but sometimes I just wish he looked at me like he looks at you, or talked about me the way he talks about you." She paused to take a deep breath. "We're still new, but I really like him, Bella." She sounded like she wanted to cry. I took a few steps forward and placed my hand on her arm.

"You've got it all wrong, Kate. Edward doesn't like me… like _that_. We are just friends. Trust me, he's really into you. Did you know that Edward has never brought a girl home before?" I wanted her to understand what a big deal it was that he had invited her to sit with his family. She nodded slightly.

"He told me that, but you don't hear the way he talks about you. He has puts you up on a pedestal, and I'm afraid I'll never compare." She looked up at me as she finished. I couldn't believe that she actually felt like she would never compare to _me_.

"It's not a competition. I really think you should talk to him about how you're feeling. He is very grateful that I helped him with his Biology and we have gotten to know each other pretty well. Edward doesn't have many close friends, so if he is talking about me a lot, that's probably why. Besides, I'm dating his cousin, who might as well be his brother. Even if he does have feelings for me, it's never going to happen." I wanted to tell her that Edward _did_ try before I got with Jasper, but thought better of it.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"Don't thank me, just please stop worrying. You're here, you see me, there is absolutely nothing special going on right here. If it would make you feel better we can take out paper and pen and do a comparison chart. I promise, you'd come out on top." I gave her a sickly sweet smile, hoping that would be the end of the extremely awkward conversation.

"Thanks," she said for the second time in three minutes.

"You're welcome." I laughed. Kate was too pretty to be so insecure, and in all honesty, probably way too good for Edward.

We walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to the room I was sharing with Jasper. I could hear everyone chatting downstairs and grew nervous at the thought of Rosalie being down there. I was going to ask Kate if she showed up yet, but didn't want to draw attention to the situation. After I discarded my old clothes and bag we headed downstairs. Being around Kate was easy. She was as quiet as I was, but everything about her screamed "friendly". I hoped we would have some time to get to know each other. It would help put her mind at ease about Edward, and it never hurt to make new friends.

We walked into the living room where everyone was, my eyes immediately seeking out Jasper. He was sitting alone on the piano bench. He didn't look like himself. Jasper always looked good, but that night, he was hot. His usual combed over hair was hanging lose with a slight wave running through it. His attire hadn't changed too much, but Alice got him to put on a print instead of the solids I was used to seeing him in. What stood out the most was that he wasn't wearing his glasses. The only times I had ever seen him without them were when we went to bed and when we woke up. He spotted me quickly once he noticed Kate take her seat next to Edward and made his way over to me.

"You like my hair? Alice did it," he said with a grimace.  
"I do, but Jasper? Please… put your glasses back on," I purred into his ear. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close.

"How about we skip dinner?" He whispered, running his lips over my earlobe. I could tell he was turned on and I wanted nothing more than to take him back upstairs, but I wanted to make a good impression my first day in Esme's home.

"We can't do that to Esme, but I promise to make the wait worth your while."

I heard a gagging noise come from behind Jasper's head and looked around him to see where it was coming from. Rose. I was so busy oogling my hot boyfriend that I hadn't even noticed her. I openly rolled my eyes and turned to face Jasper. All thoughts of Rosalie were immediately replaced with thoughts of what would happen when he and I finally made our escape.

* * *

**So with everything going on with FFn lately I have moved all of my stories to my blog. This update is already there and all future updates will go there first, just as a precaution. maitressesaint(dot)blogspot(dot)com There are tabs at the top of page for each one of my stories. **

**Les Femmes did an article about the LU and review etiquette on Tuesday. It truly is worth the read, so please, if you have a minute check that out theladiesoftwilight(dot)com**


	8. Chapter 8

**Three months. I sincerely apologize. Like I told Kitty, I'd like to call it writers block, but what I had was a life block. Been going through a lot of changes. I can't promise an update tomorrow, but I am back to writing and will get the next chapter to you soon. I also apologize for not getting back to everyone. Sometimes, there are no words.**

**Thanks to Kitty Cullen-03 for being so stinkin' amazing! She beta's this piece and gives me constant reassurance. **

**I still don't own.**

* * *

_**JPOV**_

Bella walked down the stairs and into the room; she was a vision of perfection. I loved that she could be dressed so simply, yet, look so elegant. She had yet to look at me and while she and Kate stood in the entrance of the family room, side by side, I made a quick comparison. Kate was tall, legs that stretched for miles, blond, busty - she was everything a wet dream was made of. Bella was average in every sense of the word, but standing there next to the super model, she had never been more appealing. She was real, tangible; she had physical imperfections that reminded me of why I loved her, and even though I couldn't see them all in that moment, I knew each and every one of them. They were like mental photographs, the ones that could never be erased.

It didn't take long for Bella's eyes to meet mine. I smiled genuinely at her before standing up from my seat and walking over. Kate walked off to take her place next to Edward, for which I was grateful; I've never liked awkward greetings, and most of the time that's the way my greetings ended up. I was hesitant to say anything and slightly embarrassed that Alice had gotten her claws into me right before dinner, even though I did like the look. I tentatively stopped in front of her. I tried to smile, but it seemed to come out as a grimace.

"You like my hair? Alice did it," I stated, knowing that she already knew, but it felt like the right thing to say. She leaned forward, placing her hands on my shoulders. I was confused at what she was doing until she whispered into my ear.

"I do, but Jasper? Please… put your glasses back on." The way she purred… so seductive… my arms instinctively wrapped around her waist and I pulled her body close to mine. She looked up at me, her face flushed. It was a look I'd seen a few times and I knew exactly what it meant – Bella was horny.

I forgot that we were in a room full of people when I leaned forward and took her earlobe in between my teeth, nipping it lightly before speaking against it.

"How about we skip dinner?" I ran my tongue gently against the outer rim of her ear. My cock was straining painfully against the inside of my jeans. I was ready. I needed her.

"We can't do that to Esme, but I promise to make the wait worth your while." Esme? It took me a minute to remember where we were. Instantly I was embarrassed. That whole scene had taken place in front of my entire family, including Rose, whom reminded us all she was there by pretending to gag in the background.

I wasn't ready to release Bella yet, not only because I wanted to feel the closeness, but I didn't think it was a great idea to turn around so that my raging hard-on could greet the room. I rolled my eyes to myself because of Rosalie's immaturity which earned a giggle from Bella. I heard Emmett quietly scolding her. Maybe he isn't that bad, I thought. I was ready to move on. Forgive and forget. He and I would need to talk at some point. I hoped sooner rather than later. I wasn't really one for putting things off.

We stood in the doorway for a couple more minutes, listening to the chatter behind us, when Esme called everyone to the dining room. Bella and I were the last to walk out of the room and just before we entered the room I grabbed her elbow to stop her. She turned, looking at me in question.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"I know you were nervous about coming and I just wanted to make sure. We all want you to be comfortable here," I said, and it was honest for the most part. She smiled, placing her hand on my cheek.

"I'm fine, Jasper. Much better than I was when we arrived." She didn't give me a chance to respond. Her lips touched mine gently before she pulled away.

I took her by the hand and led her to the table, where everyone was seated except for Aunt Esme and Carlisle. On one side sat Edward, Kate, Rosalie and Emmett. On the other was Alice. I thought Bella would feel most comfortable sitting next to her, so I pulled out her chair without even asking. She looked at me in gratitude as she slid into the seat. Before taking my own I caught Rosalie's eye and gave her a pleading look, she nodded curtly, but experience told me that she wasn't to be trusted. The only thing I had on my side when it came to Rose and Bella was hope.

After I was seated, Emmett was the first to speak. No one was surprised.

"Alice, where is Tyler?" The table was silent. We had all been thinking the same thing. Alice's high school sweetheart had taken off for college a year before her, but had spent the previous Christmas break with us. I speculated that they were having some problems, but never asked. If Alice wanted to talk about it, she would have.

"Who's Tyler?" Bella asked, chewing on her lip. Everyone besides Kate looked shocked. How could Alice's best friend not know about her boyfriend of five years?

"He's my boyfriend and he will be here tomorrow," Alice said, sitting a little straighter. Her answer held a tone of finality, but Bella was fidgeting and I knew that meant she wasn't going to let it go.

"Your boyfriend? But what about…" She looked around the table. We were all staring at her wondering what she was going to say, but the vehement way Alice was shaking her head told us all that we would never hear the end of Bella's question.

"What do you guys think of Jasper's new look?" _Avoidance. _There was something we didn't know and Alice decided the best way to make us all forget was to change the subject. Bella was going to help her.

"I love it. I do wish you had left his glasses," she paused, looking over to me and blushing slightly. "But I really like the hair."

Rosalie and Kate were both quick to agree while Emmett, Edward, and I sat still confused and mulling over the previous conversation. It was like the girls had banded together to keep Alice's secret, even though two of them didn't know what it was. I was annoyed and slightly awed.

"Yeah, Jas, it looks great. You should add some highlights. They'd really bring out your eyes," Edward said, mockingly. His hands were flailing around in a dramatic gesture. Emmett laughed, I snickered, and the girls didn't find him humorous.

Shortly after Carlisle entered the room carrying a large ham; I guess I had failed to mention that Bella only eats chicken and fish. I looked at her and smiled apologetically. She patted my leg knowingly as she leaned over and told me Esme already knew. I let out a sigh of relief when my Aunt came in with a small hen. As the parental figures took their seats at the head of the table, we all sat quietly. Just like he did every night we had dinner together, Carlisle held out his hands for the two sitting next to him to take. This time, it happened to be Edward and myself. It was a chain reaction. Hands clasped around the room before he said a prayer.

Our family wasn't overly religious, but Carlisle and Esme believed in routine, structure, and giving thanks. It was something that we all appreciated as we got older. Bella and Kate didn't seem to mind either. Once he was finished, Carlisle stood up and began to distribute the meat. He discretely passed over Bella, giving her a side smile as he moved with grace around the table. It wasn't a surprise that Esme had out done herself. Everything was beautiful, garnished to perfection, but it was nothing compared to what she would have in store for Christmas.

I looked over to Bella as everyone got settled and started passing dishes around the table; her eyes were lit up brighter than the tree. She had told me that her family didn't have many holiday traditions, and that it was always just her and her parents. I felt terrible for keeping her away from them, but at the same time, I couldn't imagine spending our first Christmas away from her. To say that I was relieved when she agreed to come with me would be an understatement. Her nerves and worry were similar to my own. I didn't want to deal with Rosalie and the drama I was sure she would create while we were home, so when I assured Bella that everything would be fine, I wasn't a hundred percent sure that I was being honest, but with Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Edward on my side I tried to believe that things would be fine. Over the course of dinner, my theory was proven to be true.

Dinner was pleasant. Carlisle told us about his latest project, as did Esme. She took us all by surprise when she said she would be opening a new flower shop. I had never taken her for a florist, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. She always loved working in her garden and always put together her own arrangements. A slight tinge of guilt ran through me as I thought about how unobservant I had been to not realize it was actually something she genuinely loved. The feeling was quickly replaced with something warmer when Bella placed her tiny hand on my knee and gave it a small squeeze. When I turned my head to look at her she was looking up at me, a thoughtful expression written across her face. She told me once I wore my emotions on my sleeve. I think she just knew me better than anyone else, or perhaps, she was just observant.

As dinner came to a close, Esme left the table to prepare dessert. While she was away conversation drifted to school and our plans for the next semester. I noticed Rosalie had grown unusually quiet. She shifted uncomfortably with her head down. I wasn't sure if it was the talk about school or if she was just restless, but I hadn't been the only one to notice, and unlike me, Emmett wouldn't hold his tongue.

"You alright, Rosie?" he asked. He looked truly concerned. There was no denying he loved her. I hated it. I wanted to believe he was at fault. That he was the cause of all bad things that happened to Rosalie. But, in truth, Bella was right – Rosalie is a grown woman, who made her own choices, and it takes two to tango. The table got quiet as everyone turned their attention to Rosalie. It took her a minute to look up. She glanced around the table before clearing her throat and licking her lips. I noticed she didn't address Emmett, but let her gaze rest on Uncle Carlisle.

"I've decided not to go back," she said quietly, hanging her head once again. My blood was boiling. What the fuck did she mean she wasn't going back? She had to go back. Even Emmett looked stunned.

"Wha… what?" Emmett asked, stumbling over his words. He was shaking his head from side to side. It looked as if he were trying to wake himself. Rosalie sat wordless.

"Rose, would you please explain? " Carlisle asked as calm as ever, but one look at his face and it was apparent – Carlisle was nervous. Rose didn't take long to answer, sitting up straight in her chair and looking him in the eye.

"I've decided not to go back to school next year; at least not to Dartmouth. I can do all the course work online and still get my degree. It will not only be embarrassing for me, but for Jasper as well. Besides, I will have more time to spend with the baby this way."

"All of your hard work, your accomplishments, -" Carlisle began. Rosalie cut him off quickly.

"Will follow me. Listen, I know you think I'm making the wrong choice, but it is my choice to make. While I wouldn't change anything, the situation has been humiliating." Her body began to tremble as her eyes welled up with tears. She croaked out a sob before continuing. "I just want to do what's right for my family."

Emmett wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his chest. She cried quietly as the rest of us sat in silence. Esme walked back into the room; confusion laced her features. She gave Carlisle a questioning glance, to which he just shook his head. She slid into her seat quietly, placing the dessert tray in front of her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella shift uncomfortable. I hoped she didn't think this was how all family meals in the Cullen household ended. It was the third time she sat down with my family and all three times things ended badly.

"I don't mean to pry, but I think you are making a very honest decision, Rosalie," Bella spoke up. I tensed beside her. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. Sit stoic or run. What was she doing?

"What?" Rose asked quietly, turning her head out of Emmett's chest and peeking at Bella.

"My mom decided not to go to school at all. She had me very young and I've always got the impression that she regretted it. At least you are going to finish. You've decided not only what's right for you, but what's best for your family. You've given up a lot, but still you know what you want – sacrifice and compromise. I find that extremely admirable. I wish my mother had done the same, and then maybe she wouldn't still be in search of her own personal happiness."

It was the most I heard Bella say about her family without being goaded. I knew very little about Charlie and Renee, but it was obvious that she loved them unconditionally, and they felt the same about her. Her confession about her mother took me by surprise. I looked at her, blinking rapidly, a small grin spread across my lips. She ducked her head and took a deep breath; she was out of her comfort zone, but said what she did for Rose. It made my heart swell.

"Thank you," Rosalie whispered, with a slight nod. She sat up in her seat and wiped her tears away with her napkin. Our eyes met briefly, hers told me all I needed to know. She was grateful. The mood at the table lightened immediately. Carlisle and Esme both had appreciative smiles on their faces. Esme's never left as she addressed Bella.

"What does your mother do, Bella?"

"An easier question would be, what hasn't she done," she answered with a giggle. Chuckles broke out around the table. "Currently, she is trying her hand at interior design. She doesn't get much work though. Her taste is… unusual."

"Well, I'm sure she is as lovely as her daughter." Esme tone was matter of fact. She was fond of Bella, as was most of the family.

A few moments later Esme began handing out desserts. We all knew that Carlisle wasn't finished with Rosalie, but for the evening we had moved on to more pleasant conversation. Soon, dinner was over and Carlisle was thanking us all for joining. Bella offered to help clear the table, and was happily taken up on her offer. Edward and Kate were the first to rise. He was taking her back to campus. She had an early flight to Kentucky in the morning and wanted to get some rest. Her and Bella hugged goodbye and as they did I thought I heard Bella whisper something that sounded like 'don't worry,' but I can't be sure. The hug alone seemed awkward. The two hardly knew each other. Rosalie and Emmett soon followed, closing themselves in her bedroom for the evening. Alice, like Bella, had offered to help Esme. The three ladies left the table, arms full of dishes, and headed into the kitchen. Carlisle stood and clasped my shoulder.

"I'll be in my study."

"Alright, have a good night." I looked up at him and nodded. It was what he did every night after dinner, but he was always courteous enough to announce it.

"Oh, Jasper? She really is something." He filtered out the door, into the hall, without another glance. I was glad to have his approval. His opinion has always meant a lot to me. He was a good man, loving, loyal, and hard working. Everything I hoped to be.

I stood from the table and made my way up to my room. My feet dragged; the day had been relaxing and not what I expected, but for some reason I was exhausted. Perhaps, it was all the worrying. I took my shoes off and threw them back into the closet. I stopped momentarily to look myself over one last time before taking off the ensemble Alice put together. I found that I really did like the look.

I stripped out of my clothes, placing back on hangers and putting them away. I found a pair of old gray sweats in one of my draws and slipped them on, along with my glasses, before going to lie down. I thought about everything that was said at dinner; Alice's secret, Carlisle's new branch, Esme's new shop, and Rose… Oh, Rose. My mind and heart were conflicted. I always had the highest hopes for Rosalie. She was an excellent student, an overachiever actually, and I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that she was willing to through it all away. Was Bella right? Was it a sacrifice and a compromise? Would taking online courses be fulfilling? I didn't know. I had no answers and for Rose, that scared me. We had our lives mapped out. There was a plan and suddenly, everything seemed off.

Bella came in an hour or so later. She let out a heavy sigh as she walked in the door. My eyes were trained on her as she kicked the door closed. She looked at me, smiling wryly as she lifted her sweater over her head and tossed it on top her bag. I shifted my gaze to the ceiling, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable as she changed. The bed shifted slightly. I pick my head up and notice she hadn't changed at all. She crawled up to me slowly, her sides of her jeans moving up and down her hips with every move she made. She paused, looking down at me.

"You put your glasses back on," she breathed, throwing her leg over my waist. I nodded, not knowing how I was supposed to respond. She was breathing heavier than normal. Her chest heaved, making it hard for me to keep my eyes off of her breasts. She leaned forward, licking her lips before brushing them against mine briefly. "I always keep my promises," she purred against my lips. My breath hitched, and my cock sprang to life as my mind drifted back to us standing in the living room.

"Bella…" I wanted to tell her that we didn't have to tonight. She had a long day and I didn't want her to feel obligated. Her lips, her body, were distracting. I couldn't find my words.

"Shhh…" Was the only noise she made as her lips connected with my jaw. She sucked and licked her way down to my neck, stopping to nip at my clavicle. Her hands roamed my body freely, touching every spot besides where I needed her touch the most. I placed my hands on her waist, trying to guide her body down on mine, desperate to feel some kind of friction. She wasn't having it though. She never relented. Her body stayed planted. Her core sat just below my belly button, bra clad breasts brushed my chest lightly as she played… teased.

My hands began to move on their own accord, up the soft flesh of her back. She sat up quickly, taking both of my hands in hers. She moved them up, over my head, and slowly trailed the tips of her fingers down my arms, onto my chest. "No touching," she said with a smirk.

I started to protest, but couldn't find the words once I felt her grasp my erection through my pants. She squeezed firmly, causing me to close my eyes and groan. I felt her lips return to my body. Like she were a playing an instrument, she picked right back up where she left off. It was the first time I'd ever seen her so attentive. There wasn't a spot on my torso that she missed. Her hand continued to tease my cock through the material of my sweats until her teeth grazed my pelvic bone, making my body jerk away from her. She smiled against my skin. I watched her, mesmerized by not only her beauty, but her confidence as she scooted her body down my legs. In the bedroom, she was a different person. I always knew Bella was a sexual being, but the way she handled me, it was like she anticipated my every need.

She slid her hands into the sides of my sweats, hooking her fingers into the elastic waist band and tugging gently. Instinctively my hips came off the bed, allowing her to pull them and my boxers down my legs. I pushed them off with my feet, never taking my eyes off Bella. My stomach bubbled with nerves. I felt nauseous, but I was ready. I wanted her… needed her. Never had I imagined that my first time would be in Carlisle and Esme's home, in my old bedroom, but in that moment it didn't matter.

Bella took my cock into her tiny hand and stroked it gently, her eyes on mine. There was nonverbal conversation, she was asking permission and I was granting it. Suddenly, quicker than expected, her head dipped down and her tongue darted out of her mouth. She was licking the pre-cum off the tip. Something I had only seen in my dreams. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked down at her. Big mistake. I almost came at the sight alone. My head fell back and I shut my eyes, just feeling her lick, kiss, and fondle. It was too much, but not enough. I hissed loudly. The muscles in my stomach were clinched tight, my balls ached, and the anticipation was more than I expected.

Finally, I felt her take me between her lips, inching down slowly. I had to look. I lifted my head. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes were met by hers. The entire scene felt like something out of a movie. Something that shouldn't happen to me, but it was. Whatever I had done to deserve her, I was thanking my lucking stars.

"Oh my… Mm… Bella," I grunted out, feeling her wet, hot mouth wrapped around me. I thought it was good in my dreams… there was no comparison. She hummed around my cock. I could only assume that was a good sign. I lifted my arm, and gently placed my hand on the back of her head. The action was encouraging and she picked up her pace. My hips bucked, again an involuntary action. Shock ran through me when she didn't gag. She hadn't… not once. She took me down her throat with ease. I moaned and grunted as she continued to suck, her tongue stroking around the head. I didn't realize so much could be done with the mouth alone.

"I'm… fuck… cum…" I was trying to warn her, but it didn't work out. I came sporadically and hard into her mouth and she swallowed every single drop. The single sexiest thing she had done, even though I would never have told her that.

Bella sat up after licking my cock clean and kissing the tip one last time. She licked her lips and looked down at me with a satisfied smile. The cheesy grin I wore refused to be wiped away. She lay down on her side next to me. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. She kissed me back hungrily. My hand that was resting on her leg started working its way up. She grabbed my wrist and broke our kiss, shaking her head.

"Not tonight. Tonight was about you. It's something I've wanted to do for a while."

"But,-" I started. She placed her fingers over my lips to stop me.

"No argument. We have all the time in the world. Now, we sleep." She leaned forward and placed a single chaste kiss on my lips. I decided then that I had to be the luckiest man in New Hampshire – in the world - to have such an amazing woman by my side. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. I knew there was no way I would be able to fall asleep anytime soon, but when I did, I was sure that my dreams would be sweet.

* * *

**Please read and review. Did Bella do Jasper's first ever BJ justice?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Kitty, thanks a million for being the best and fastest beta eva!**

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, alerts, and fav's. Sorry if I don't get back to you. I think you rather read the story than hear my rubbage. **

**I still don't own. **

* * *

_**Bella**_

I woke up to the sound of my cell buzzing. It was muffled by the fabric of my bag, but the sound was too familiar and it jarred me. I let it ring. Jasper's arm was draped over my abdomen, preventing me from moving. Gripping his wrist gently, I lifted his arm and laid it at his side. I turned to look at his face just as he rolled away from me with a light grunt. The sound caused a small smile to break out across my face. I loved watching him sleep. I stretched, yawing, as I looked over at the clock. _Nine thirty?_ It was rare that either of us sleep in so late. My body was sore and I was still in my jeans. My mouth tasted of morning and… Jasper. I licked my lips remembering the night before.

Needing to rid myself of the heavy denim, I threw the covers back and reluctantly climbed out of bed. I scrounged through my bag for my "family friendly" pajama/yoga pants and a t-shirt, changing quickly once I found them before heading down the hall to the restroom. My mind drifted to the Cullen's as I began to get ready for the day. Esme's generosity and friendliness was unexpected, but not surprising. After talking to her for five minutes, I knew it was in her nature. While Jasper was upstairs immersed in a WoW marathon, she kept me busy in the kitchen; all the while, spilling everything she could about her children without making one of them look bad. It was apparent that she loved Rosalie and Jasper like they were her own. I was in awe of her; yet, silently questioned if she could truly be as perfect as she seemed.

I stewed over Kate's confessions. Everything that Edward had done since mine and Jasper's relationship began seemed honorable. Only once did I question his intentions, but standing there in his mother's guest washroom, I started to scrutinize every touch, every conversation that I could remember. The conclusion being that Edward Cullen definitely looked at me as just a friend and tutor. I shook my head at myself for even entertaining the idea that it could have been more. Aside from Jasper and Alice, Edward was the only other person I felt comfortable with and if Kate's accusations were true, things would change. Jasper would never let me see him and Alice would be in an uproar. A sigh escaped my lips as I thought about Alice… my best friend. Why had she not told me about Tyler? The moment the thought crossed my mind, I decided that I needed to speak with her. He would obviously be spending time with us and I didn't want things to be strained between Alice and me when he arrived.

With my teeth brushed and my hair somewhat presentable, I grabbed my stuff and headed back to the bedroom. Jasper was still asleep and I was sulking. I wasn't comfortable enough to explore the house alone, especially with Rosalie home. The previous night at dinner, I was terrified that I would offend her when I spoke out about my mom. It was one of maybe three times in my life I felt like I couldn't keep my mouth shut. The way Carlisle looked at her, with such disappointment, angered me. I wanted her to know that even if her entire family didn't support her decision, someone did. Relief flooded my senses when all she said was thank you.

I grabbed a peculiar book off of Jasper's shelf and sank down in his computer chair to read. After reading the synopsis I looked at Jasper's sleeping form curiously. _Teen fiction and faeries? _With a shrug I turned back to the book and began to read. Three chapters in, it was a little boring, but I had fallen in love with the lead, Aislinn. I understood her. Her secrets, her fear, the overbearing grandmother – they all made perfect sense to me, even if her fear was only of mythical creatures. Her friend Seth reminded me a lot of my dad's friend's son, Jacob. We were never extremely close and I would never feel about him the way Aislinn felt about Seth, but something about the character felt familiar. I made a mental note to call Jake and wish him a Merry Christmas.

An hour later, I was nose deep in my book, comparing the people in my life to Melissa Marr's characters, when Jasper sat up and said my name. I held up my finger and hurried to read the rest of the paragraph I was on before closing it and sitting it on the desk.

"Good morning," I said, turning my head. He gave me the signature smile he didn't even know he had and scooted to the edge of the bed.

"How long have you been up?"

"Almost two hours. It's almost noon." Jasper's eyes widened as he turned to look at the clock. He jumped up frantically, like he had somewhere to be. I laughed. "Hey, have you read this?" I held the book up in his direction.

"Um, no. I think it belongs to Alice actually. Is it any good?" He pulled up his sweats and walked over to the dresser to find a shirt. I watched him with a smirk. He seemed a little more confident than the day before.

"It's okay. Not really my type of story, but I can't seem to stop reading. Now that I've started I need to know how it ends," I answered with a shrug. He nodded. There was a knock at the door. Jasper looked over at me, his eyes raking down my body. I assumed he was assessing my attire, making sure I was decent.

"Come in," Jasper hollered.

"Morning," Alice's sweet voice bounced off the walls. I didn't look at her. My face would have betrayed me and showed my disappointment. "Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I'm going to see if Esme made breakfast. I'm famished," Jasper said seriously. He kissed my forehead and gave me an apologetic smile before walking out of the room. I still hadn't looked at Alice.

She took a seat on the edge of the bed and didn't say anything for several minutes. I ran my hands through my hair as I turned my body in the chair to face her. She looked like she was lost for words – so was I. She took a deep breath before lifting her head to look at me. Immediately I saw the regret swimming in her usually bright gray eyes and wanted to hug her, but there were things we needed to talk about.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked reluctantly.

"I'm not mad, Alice. I'm confused. Why didn't you tell me about Tyler?" It was the truth. I wasn't mad at her. I just couldn't bring myself to understand why she would keep such a thing a secret.

"I don't know, Bella. I wanted to, but I didn't want you to judge me. We started dating my freshman year of high school and for four years I was always 'Tyler's girlfriend' and all I ever heard or talked about was him. I wanted something to myself for once. I needed a break. Him being away at school, and me starting a new one provided that. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I should have."

I knew how she felt. When I left Forks, I left all of my baggage behind. I wanted to reinvent myself. No one in New Hampshire knew me as the freak or the crazy girl. No one watched me, wondering when I was going to panic or regress. It was nice to get away. The only thing I loved more about New Hampshire than the fact that that's where Jasper was; was the fact that I knew no one.

"I can understand that, but what about Tia? Do you love Tyler, Alice? Because if you do, this thing with-" She didn't allow me to finish before her voice broke out in nothing above whisper.

"I don't know. Tia is great. She's outgoing and fun, smart and beautiful. We have so many common interests, but she is the first woman I've ever been with. I didn't expect to be with her. I didn't seek her out or anything, it just happened. I care about her very much. I'm terrified to tell my family though." She looked away, but I could still see the sadness and conflict in her eyes. She turned back to me and gave me a small smile to reassure me she was fine before continuing, "Things with Tyler are… complicated. He's popular and handsome, but honestly, he has no clue what he wants to do. I asked him once what he wanted out of life and he started rambling off things about sports, cars, and fun. We're young – I get that – but to have no goals in life? I wasn't raised that way. I do think I love him, but we're not the same people anymore. I'm sure he's not been all that forthcoming with me either. I've heard rumors – lots of them," her voice was small as she ended. Things with Tyler bothered her more than she let on, or perhaps it was just the loss of her first love.

"What are you going to do, Ali?" The concern in my voice couldn't be masked. I hated that my friend was hurting. But more than that, I hated that she felt like we couldn't talk about it before. I moved my chair closer, wanting to be able to comfort her if she needed it.

"Nothing. I don't know. I mean, Tia knows about him. I've made her promises I don't know that I can keep. If I break up with him I feel like I'm letting people down." She looked down at her hands. My heart broke for Alice. She always wanted to please everyone around her and put herself last. Even her makeovers were her way of showing love; her way of taking care of us.

"I think you should do what makes you happy. At some point, Alice, you have to put your own feelings before others. I'm not saying for you to run down stairs and declare your love for Tia. I'm just suggesting that maybe ending things with Tyler, soon rather than later, would be easier on everyone, especially you." I placed my hand on her should and gave it a firm squeeze. She nodded. Tears began to stream down her cheeks and she let out a few sniffles.

"You're right. I just… I want to wait until after Christmas."

"That's fair. I think Tyler and both of your families would appreciate that." _I would appreciate that_, I thought, but left that part out. Being at the Cullen's was hard enough. There was no way I could handle much more drama than what was already on my plate.

"I'm really sorry, Bella. Your friendship means the world to me. By the time I was ready to tell you, everything with Tia was already happening and things just started spiraling out of control," she shook her head as she finished.

"It's okay. We all have things we don't want to talk about, including me. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions or assumed things about our friendship." There was no way I could stay mad at Alice, especially when I did the same thing. I had yet to tell any of them about my past and wasn't planning on it either.

"Well, enough of this. I'm starving and I'm sure Jasper would like to have his girlfriend back. Have you eaten?" she asked, jumping off the bed.

"No. I, um, didn't want to intrude. I've been waiting for Jasper."

"Don't be silly. When you are in this home, it is just as much yours as it is ours. Come on," she ordered, tugging on my hand.

Obediently I got up and followed her downstairs. We found Jasper in the kitchen, eating Esme's morning leftovers. He smiled at me as I walked in. I joined him at the table, humming lightly as the smell of his food hit my sense.

"Hungry?" he asked, looking at me with a raised brow.

"Famished," I giggled, remembering Jasper using the word earlier.

"There are leftover omelets, pancakes, and bacon. Want me to heat you some up?"He started to stand, but I placed my hand on his forearm to stop him.

"Actually, I think I'm going to fix myself a sandwich. Breakfast should be eaten in the mornings," I stated seriously as I got up from the table.

"WHAT? Breakfast can be anytime," he argued, disbelief evident in his tone.

I shook my head in disagreement. Charlie and Renee had breakfast for dinner quiet often. I cooked for myself those nights or Dad would run out and grab me something. He never complained. For the most part, Charlie was a quiet guy. He and Renee were polar opposites in that respect. She never held her tongue, bought into the small town gossip, and on occasion gave them all something to talk about. Charlie could care less about any of it. With him I always felt like what he had was enough, and the rest – whatever was on the outside – didn't matter.

Alice took note that I was lost in though and nudged me with her elbow. I hadn't realized I'd been standing, staring off in space, with the refrigerator door open. Thinking about my parents spurred a wave of sadness I wasn't anticipating. The same guilt I felt the previous week over not going home washed over me, causing tears to gather in the corner of my eyes. I quickly busied myself to clear my head, making an easy chicken salad.

Jasper was finished eating long before I sat down, but waited for me patiently. He scowled as I place my plate on the table. I giggled, knowing he wished he had waited to eat. Alice sat with us, gushing over her meal. Mentally, I did a little happy dance at her praise. Once we were finished she insisted on cleaning up, saying it was only right since I cooked. I didn't argue. Being away from school and home felt like a vacation, and for the first time ever – I felt like I deserved a break. I thanked her and started to stand when Jasper placed his hand on top of mine.

"Hang on a second. I wanted to ask you something. Later today I was thinking about going over to Grandma Platt's for a visit. It's been a while since I've seen her and she lives just around the corner. Would you like to join me?"

"Grandma Platt's?" I tilted my head to the side and asked curiously. That name didn't sound familiar at all.

"My mom's mom. Esme's mom."

"Oh. Yes, of course. I would love to, Jasper." Even if I hadn't wanted to go, there was no way I could vocalize it after hearing who she was.

"You're taking her to Mama's?" Alice asked, shaking her head. There was laughter dancing in her eyes, but she didn't make a peep. "I hope you're prepared, Bella."

"What's she talking about?" I directed my question to Jasper instead of Alice because I wanted a straight forward answer. Alice could be so cryptic sometimes.

"Grandma Platt is a little different. Quite eccentric actually, but I think you'll like her. She drinks some and has varied… taste, but for the most part she's a good woman. Esme doesn't talk to her much. She can't handle the drinkin'," he said with a shrug.

I wasn't sure what to say. What did he mean by varied taste and eccentric? How eccentric? My head was telling me that I might not be ready to meet anymore of his family, but I kept my mouth shut and nodded. Something about the way Jasper described Grandma Platt intrigued me.

An hour later we were standing in her driveway. Jasper wasn't lying when he said she lived just around the corner. We walked what felt like ten steps and we were there. He took my hand and gave it a small squeeze. I looked over at him, reassuring him with my eyes that I was okay. As Jasper knocked on the door, I took a minute to survey the yard. Much like Esme's, there wasn't a thing out of place. Poinsettia's lined each side of the driveway. The grass looked freshly cut and too green for the winter. Grandma Platt's home, was smaller than the Cullen's, but not by much and the Christmas décor that adorned the outside made it feel welcoming. I didn't hear the door open, but I sure heard her. Her boisterous voice caused me to jump.

"Jasper! Oh, honey, it is good to see you," her voice was laced with sugar. I turned around to look at her, but either she was ignoring me or just hadn't noticed.

"Hi, Mama. It's good to see you, too," he said. His grip on my hand loosened and he motioned over to me before he continued, "Mama, this is my girlfriend Bella. Bella, this is my grandmother, Anne Platt."

"Girlfriend? Well she sure is pretty, Jasper," she teased, winking in my direction. "Come inside. I can't wait to get to know you, Bella. Jasper's never brought a girl home for me to harass," she laughed, I blanched. Inquisitions weren't my thing.

There were two things that caught my eye as we were led into the family room. One was the large family portrait that hung above the fire place. It looked as if it had been taken recently, but as I scanned it, I knew that wasn't a possibility. There were two girls, one maybe ten, the other no older than sixteen. The woman, the mother, was the spitting image of Esme. It had to be Grandma Platt. The man was attractive - no… beautiful. His hair was platinum blonde, his eyes bright blue, the smile he wore was bright and I could tell it was genuine. The eldest daughter held his features. Sadness washed over me when I realized Rosalie did, too. It was the first picture I had ever seen of Jasper's mother. She looked nothing like I envisioned, being Esme's sister, but she was stunning, even at such a young age.

The second thing I noticed was a young, ruggedly handsome, man sitting leisurely on the L-shaped sectional, sipping his drink (that appeared to be whiskey). My brow shot up as I turned to look at Jasper, begging for answers. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. _Is he the help?_ I never had a housekeeper, always mowed my own lawn, and the thought of having a driver in the small town of Forks was laughable, but if indeed he was the help, the way he was lounging around, so comfortable, hardly seemed appropriate. My unanswered question was answered as I regained composure and turned around to take a seat. Grandma Platt was wrapped around him like a snake on a pole. I stared, wide eyed, causing her to laugh.

"Bella, this is my boyfriend, Eleazar. Eli, this is Jasper's… girlfriend," she paused, smirking. It seemed as though she was enjoying some sort of inside joke. "Her name is, Bella." My face had yet to return to something resembling normalcy. My jaw was nearly touching my chest and I must have forgotten to blink because my eyes began to burn.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Bella," Eleazar said, his thick accent shining through. His face was kind and gentle. The shock of Old Lady Platt and the Hispanic McDreamy had yet to wear off, but his greeting calmed me enough to remember where I was and what the fuck I was doing there. I was ready to kill Jasper, or at least yell at him a little. He could have told me. He should have told me. I wasn't prepared.

My body language gave me away, like always, and Jasper luckily came to my rescue, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me down to sit on the couch. I wasn't quite sure what to do or say and was more than a little uncomfortable after whispering a shy "hello" to Eleazar.

After we were all situated in our seats Anne, or Mama, as she insisted I called her, proceeded to tell me the story of how she and 'Eli' met. Apparently, Grandpa Platt owned a mountain resort in greater Colorado and once he passed, she refused to sell. She did everything behind the scenes, never visited, and had never skied a day in her life. Eight years later, at the age of seventy-two, she got curious and hopped a plane to Crested Butte. Eli was her ski instructor. They laughed, remembering their time together there. Eleazar said it only took her two days to convince him to join her in New Hampshire. I wondered briefly if she still paid him a salary.

We talked some about school, and they questioned me about my family. Grandma Platt didn't even hesitate when she told me, although it wasn't any of her business, she really felt I should be with my family on Christmas. Jasper tried jumping to my defense, but I shushed him quickly. She was entitled to her opinion and I appreciated the way she spoke her mind. We heard about the upcoming trips she and Eli had planned. I guess after the great skiing adventure of '08, she found there were other extreme sports she wanted to try. She had conquered bungee jumping and soon would be parasailing. All of those things sounded fun, but definitely not safe for a woman her age.

Two hours, and three drink and/or valium offers - and declines - later, Jasper and I were walking back to the house. His arm was wrapped tight around my waist and my head rested on his chest. Neither of us had said a word since we left. The entire visit was surreal. As we neared the house, I could see people sitting outside. My entire body stiffened when I realized it was Alice and Tyler. They were sitting on the porch, her legs thrown over his, with her tiny head against his massive shoulder. Both were smiling, but something seemed… off. Seeing them side by side for the first time, I questioned if maybe Tyler was ready to end the relationship as well. I lifted my head to look at Jasper. I never wanted us to end up that way – not like Alice and Tyler, and definitely not like Grandma Platt, whose life only looked like a dream from the outside. He gave my waist a squeeze and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"You alright?" he asked.

I nodded into his chest. "Good, just thinking."

"About?"

"Everything… us… your grandmother, Alice, I don't know. Everything." We had stopped in the street and he turned me to face him. His face warned me of his concern, but I knew he wouldn't push; he never did. There were things that Jasper and I had yet to say, even though we already knew them. I felt like it was time to vocalize, not only my love, but my worry. If I was ever going to get past my insecurities, it was necessary. My past had a lot to do the way I felt. The constant need for reassurance wasn't something that would just go away. I would need to tell Jasper a little about myself for him to understand. I only hoped I wouldn't have to reveal too much.

"Bella!" I heard Alice call me. I took a deep breath to prevent my eyes from rolling and turned around with a smile. Jasper and I needed to talk, but it would have to wait.

Unfortunately, the wait ended up being much longer than I expected.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, alerts, and fav's. They keep me inspired!**

**Huge thanks to Kitty Cullen-03. She's my super beta. And... my husband Ryan for his constant support. He reads BH at the same time you guys do and his words of encouragement mean so much.**

**I still don't own.**

* * *

_**Jasper**_

The walk up the driveway was daunting. I could tell something was eating at Bella, but I knew not to push. As we neared the front porch I had to work to keep the grimace off my face. Tyler had never been my favorite person, but I put up with him for Alice. I always wondered what she saw in him, but it wasn't my place to judge. It didn't look like things had changed much since high school. His polo was crisp, his jeans ironed and starched to perfection, not a hair out of place, and he wore a brand new pair of his favorite, trusty, Adidas shell toe's. At least they looked new. In passing we were always friendly… cordial maybe a better description, but we never once had a one on one conversation about anything significant.

Alice jumped out of her seat and bounded down the two stairs that lead to the porch. She grabbed Bella by the hand and with a wry glance in my direction, pulled her in towards the house. The two girls stopped in front of Tyler who was looking at Bella with too much enthusiasm. I followed with my head down, feeling defeated. I hoped that other than the awkward family dinner we were bound to have, I wouldn't have to make small talk.

"Bella, this is my… boyfriend, Tyler. Tyler this is my bestest friend ever, Bella." Alice wrapped her arms tight around Bella's neck and pushed their face's together. If I didn't know any better I would have thought Alice was relieved we were home.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella," Tyler said happily.

"Tyler." I nodded, wrapping my arm around Bella's waist. I noticed his gaze shift to my hand that held Bella's hip firmly. As she melted into my touch, pressing her back against my chest he seemed to shake whatever thought he was having.

"What's up, Hale? It's been a long time. How's Dartmouth?"

"Couldn't be better, thanks for asking," I couldn't keep the smirk off of my face as I answered his question. Things couldn't be better. I was excelling in all of my classes, had an amazing woman on my arm, and better than that, I got to rub it in the face of ever sly motherfucker that ever thought he was better than me. "How are you?"

"Good, good. Can't complain," he said, his lips quirking up in a tight lipped grin before he moved over to Alice and took her by the hand. "Is your mom home? I'd like to say hello."

"Sure," she answered hesitantly. She turned to face Bella, giving her a look I didn't understand. Bella gave her a sympathetic glance before nodding. She made no move to walk into the house as she watched the couple retreat behind the large red door. Her weight shifted against me as she turned in my arms.

"He's different," her observation made me chuckle.

"That he is, but why do you say that?"

"Well, first of all, he is definitely not what I would have expected, especially not for Alice. Secondly, he was blatantly gawking at me, which only leads me to believe what Alice said is true. And, lastly, it is pretty obvious that the guy hasn't aged a day since high school."

"He only said two words. How can you possibly know that?" She shrugged and looked off as if she were deep in thought.

"I can just tell."

We moved over to the porch swing and sat down. Bella seemed preoccupied, but instead of prying, I asked the question that had been burning in my mind since she brought it up.

"Hey, what did you mean when you said, what Alice said is true? What did she say?" As hard as I tried to keep my face neutral, I knew she could read me like a book. Since our first night home I was curious as to what Alice could have been hiding. Bella's eyes widened briefly as she immediately realized her mistake.

"Um…" she paused, worrying her lip between her teeth. She didn't want to tell me anything that may betray Alice's trust. "Anything I tell you stays between us, right? I mean, I know it does, but please don't say anything."

My feelings were hurt for a fraction of a second before it dawned on me that Bella was only trying to be a good friend to one of the few friends she had. I nodded slowly, wanting to add that she didn't have to tell me anything, but I didn't. I wanted to know.

"The other day Alice and I were talking and she said that people have told her he wasn't faithful," she whispered, looking around to make sure no one else heard her.

"Hmm. Doesn't surprise me. That guys a tool." Truth of the matter was, I too had heard rumors about Tyler. I'd never been one for gossip, and brushed it under the table like that's what it was.

"Not like your Tyler," she giggled.

"My Tyler?" My brows scrunched up in confusion.

"Yeah, you know… Tyler… with the mom."

I threw my head back and laughed. Of course that is how Bella would remember him. They only met a handful of times at that point and it was only in passing. She wrapped her arms around my waist and looked up at me with a smile.

"Tyler with the mom? There's more to him than that, Bella. In fact, I think you guys would really get along. Next to you, he's the most intelligent person I know. He's also an English major and a fan of the classics."

"Sounds like my type of guy," she winked. "We should hang out with him once we get back."

"I'll set something up. He's been trying to get us to come out for weeks. I think he just wants to show off his new girl."

"Sounds good," she smiled. I took her by the hand and led her into the house. As much as I wanted to spend time with my family, it was important to me that Bella and I got to have some alone time while on break. Once we returned the next semester things would get hectic and I wasn't sure how much time either of us would have. Besides, since our disastrous iHop brunch with Rosalie, neither of us had said the L word and I felt we needed to talk about it. She needed to know I meant what I said.

We walked into the living room where we found Esme putting the finishing touches on her Christmas decorations. Bella and I each said a quick hello before running out of the room and up the stairs, not wanting to get suckered into hanging the large roll of artificial pine she had sitting next to the mantel.

As we walked into the room, both of us out of breath; I pulled Bella into my embrace. She looked up at me and smiled as I lowered my lips down to hers briefly.

"We should do something tonight." My face was at most an inch from hers. She let out a breath, the air ghosted across my face, cinnamon swirled around me. I inhaled greedily, an involuntary shiver running down my spine. It seemed like everything she did clouded my vision, my judgment, with lust and need so great it almost brought me to my knees. Never in my life had I wanted a woman the way I wanted her.

I hoped she wouldn't make me wait much longer.

"Did you have something in mind?" she asked, looking up at me, her hands resting on my arms.

"Not really. Maybe dinner?"

"I thought we were having dinner with your family tonight. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if we don't. I guess I just assumed since Tyler was here and all."

"We don't have to."

"Good. Can we nap first?" A nap sounded wonderful.

"Anything you want."

"Anything?" she asked with her brow raised and a beautiful, playful smirk on her lips. For a moment I froze. _This is it,_ I thought. My chance to take the initiative was staring me in the face. I moved my hands from around her waist and placed them on the swell of her hips. I hooked my fingers into her belt loops and tugged her forward. My erection pressed against the waist band of her jeans, but as her eyes widened in mock horror, I knew she felt it. She gasped, placing her hand on her chest playfully.

"Is that a gun, Mr. Hale, or are you just happy to see me?" she winked, cupping my raging cock through the denim.

"I'm always happy to see you, Miss Swan. "

"Mm, you're so hard. I think we should take care of that." She began unbuttoning my pants, but I stopped her. She rarely let me pleasure her, and I was ready to explore. I turned us so that her back was facing the bed and walked her backwards. She fell on her ass as the back of her knees hit the mattress. Her expression was curious; yet, she stayed quiet and let me take the lead. I was terrified.

I lifted my knees onto the bed, on either side of her body as my hand gently pushed her chest to make her lay back on the bed. My breathing was heavier than usual. If she noticed she didn't mention it. I licked my dry lips that were begging for attention and lowered them to her neck. After placing a line of soft kisses down across her neck, over her clavicle, I lifted my body to look her in the eyes.

"I want to taste you," I rushed through my words. They were not what I initially wanted to say. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that I needed to be with her, feel her. The words were well thought out in my mind, but at that precise moment, I could think of nothing else but having the taste of her on my tongue. The scent of her arousal had swirled around me so many times as we fooled around that I could almost taste her in the air, and I needed it before anything else could happen. It was logically the next step, right?

Her hips bucked in response. I held back a chuckle as I slid my hand down her torso to her sex, playing with the seam of her jeans that ran from her ass to the zipper, while I waited for her to say something. Our eyes were locked, neither of us budged. She was intimidating, and it was awkward, but I didn't relent. My fingers teased her lips through the material, heat seeped out of every pore, the back of my hand rubbed against my balls - the friction was daunting. What was she waiting for? It appeared that she was fighting some kind of internal battle. I wondered who was winning. Surely, she wouldn't deny me.

"Okay," she whispered, tracing the contoured muscle of my arm. A smile spread across my face; it must have been contagious because Bella's worried glare turned into something lighter. Slowly, I brought my lips to hers. Her arms wound around my neck, her hands finding my hair instantly. Immediately, my thoughts drifted to the piece of heaven between her thighs. Would she play with my hair while I was down _there_? _Fuck, I hope so._ A shaky groan left my throat as she opened her lips, letting me access her sweet mouth. Our tongues played happily. I could have kissed her for days and not known it. When it was just us, she drew me in, time seemed to stand still, and nothing in the world seemed to matter, but I had other plans… a sweeter destination; one I was sure to love equally, if not more.

Bella moaned into my mouth one last time as I palmed her pussy, squeezing it firmly. I broke our kiss and sat straight up, causing her arms to fall at her sides. Her body withered beneath me as my hand slide from her center to the hem of her shirt. Quick as I could I had her t-shirt up and over her head. Her creamy skin was flush. Her mint lace bra screamed to be torn off her tight body, but I reminded myself that I was a gentleman. I slid the straps down her shoulders, thankful when she slipped her arms out of them. My fingers hooked into the material bunched at the sides and tugged it down around her ribs. My mouth attacked hungrily, sucking, licking, and nipping her hardened nipple. She cried out, her hips bucking; she was begging for friction and I was ready to give it. I kissed slowly down her abdomen, to the waist of her jeans.

"God, Jasper. Please." For someone who wasn't so sure of themselves a mere fifteen minutes earlier, she was fucking eager. I popped open the button of her jeans and unzipped the zipper. I stood off the bed and kneeled in front of her. In one swift motion I had her jeans and pretty pink panties around her ankles. She closed her legs instantly.

"Are you sure?" I questioned, not sure why she was acting so shy. I had seen her before. Of course, not that close, but still. She nodded, biting her lip. I silently thanked the heavens.

I tapped one of her knees gently. Reluctantly she opened them, but not far enough. I nudged her right thigh further with my elbow. Once she was completely exposed, I leaned forward. I couldn't help myself, I smelled her, inhaling as deeply as I could. My cock twitched against the inside of my pants. As I lifted my head, I noticed she was looking at me skeptically. I smiled reassuringly as my fingers made their way between her soft folds. She was soaked. My inner virgin danced – I was doing something right. I circled her clit quickly, making sure it was hard. That was when she seemed to be the most sensitive. My body scooted forward as I slid two fingers into her entrance. I watched in amazement. She let out a whimper as I pumped in and out of her slowly, probably too slow. I inched my face forward. My tongue darted out of my mouth, testing the waters so to say. It ran up and down, from my fingers to her clit. I closed my eyes in delight. She tasted better than I imagined. Instinct soon took over and my entire face was buried between her legs.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck… oh my… Jasper…" her words had me moaning against her clit. Hearing my name roll of her tongue as I performed such an intimate act was tantalizing. Her body moved against my face. Her hands twisted in my hair, pushing my face deeper, harder, into her. I moved my free hand between our bodies and freed my erection from the restraint of my jeans. My hand stroked my length feverishly as my teeth nipped at Bella's tiny bundle of nerves.

"Are you touching yourself?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes," I spoke against her wet, sensitive, skin, immediately resuming my previous actions.

"Christ… I'm… Jas… Jasper… I'm… " _Fuck, yes._ Her body began to tremble. She surprised me by clamping her thighs down on the sides of my head. My hands were busy, so I decided to not let it detour me. I continued, licking and kissing rapidly, my fingers plummeting in and out of her. A feral sound escaped her lips as her body stilled against my face. She gushed around my fingers, harder than I thought possible. I slipped my fingers out of her, bringing her juices down to lubricate my cock. The act felt dirty, only adding fuel to my fuel. My lips continued their assault on her pussy as she rode out her high.

"Ung, Jasper, stop. Please. It's too sensitive." Her body began to jerk wildly; and giggle escaped her lips when I placed a final chaste kiss against her. I slipped my tongue into her entrance, wanting to taste her release. A moan stuck in my throat as I rounded the walls of her pussy. My grip on my cock tightened as I felt my balls begin to swell. I pumped fiercely until I came violently onto the bed skirt. I pulled away from Bella, panting. I sat my hands, palm up, at her sides and lay my head down on her abdomen. My eyes closed. I basked in the feeling of my high. Pride rushed through me as I thought of the pleasure I brought her.

"Jasper, are you asleep?"

"No," I laughed. "I feel like I could sleep for days though."

"Me too. Why don't you get cleaned up and come lay with me?"

I couldn't refuse. I stood up, zipping my pants, before running to the restroom. After washing my hands, I grabbed two washcloths and wet them. As I walked back into the room, I was momentarily stunned by Bella. She laid on my bed, naked, her entire body flush from what I had done to her. With all the grace I could muster, I quietly walked over to the bed and kneeled down. I laid one wash cloth over Bella and gently wiped her. Her eyes never left my face. I threw the rag to the side once I was finished and proceeded to clean the cotton material of the bedding. I'm sure Esme would not appreciate walking into my room after we left only to find my dried spunk.

"Take off your clothes. I want to feel you," Bella whispered as I climbed onto the bed after discarding the dirty rags in my hamper. I sat up on my knees and pulled off my shirt. I sat down, kicking my pants and boxers off the edge of the bed while watching her crawl to the head of the bed and get under the covers. I moved to lay beside her, wrapping my arms around her, and pulling her into my chest. She adjusted herself for comfort, wiggling her ass further into my lap. I kissed her temple and whispered a 'thank you'; she didn't respond. It took me a few minutes to realize she had fallen asleep.

Less than an hour later Bella and I were woken by a knock on the door. She sank deeper into the covers, her wide eyes staring into mine. I shrugged.

"Yeah?"

Rosalie opened the door slowly and peeked inside. I thought I heard Bella groan quietly, but I couldn't be sure. My eyes rolled on their own accord. Of course Rose would come in and fuck up my day.

"What is it, Rosalie?" I spat, through gritted teeth.

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with you, Bella. I apologize for the intrusion, but maybe if you have a few minutes you could join me in my room?"

"Uh…" Silence hung in the air. Bella's eyes searched the room frantically. She took a deep breath before looking over at me and answering Rose. "Yeah, just give me a couple of minutes."

"Okay. Thank you, Bella," she said quietly. What did she want? Why was she being so cordial? _Fuck!_

"No problem?" she stated as a question; her confusion apparent.

After Rosalie shut the door, Bella turned her body to face me. My legs tangled with hers. It wasn't the first time I felt her naked body pressed so closely to mine, but it was the first time it happened with no intent to go any further. My inner virgin sighed – heavily.

"You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. I'm never going to get anywhere with her if I don't face her. She needs to learn that I'm not afraid of her. Her intimidation isn't going to force us apart." She leaned forward and placed a gently kiss on both of my eyelids.

"Just know that you don't have to do it for me," I sighed.

"I know."

Bella got up and threw on her clothes. She turned around, looking at me hesitantly before blowing me a kiss and sauntering out the door. I ran my hand over my face in frustration. I had just let Bella walk into the lion's den and I had no clue when she'd be coming out, or if she would at all. Resigned to the fact that she wasn't coming back, I got out of bed and dressed myself. There was something I needed to take care of; a demon that constantly stared me in the face and mocked me at every turn around. If Bella could be strong enough to face Rosalie, I could be strong enough to face Emmett.

I threw my bedroom door open and stalked down the hall, hoping that my walk exuded the confidence I didn't really feel. There were many open doors – I didn't find Emmett in one. I walked down the stairs and found him sitting at Edward's piano, staring at the keys as if they were an enigma. Maybe to him they were.

"Emmett, do you have a moment?"

"Jas man, what can I do for you, brother?" he bellowed. I chuckled, any fear I felt disappeared.

_Some things never change_, I thought shaking my head as I walked further into the room and took a seat on the couch across from him.

"I don't even know where to start…"

* * *

**So, nothing of importance, just a little J's POV. Next chapter will be Bella's and of course we'll get to see what Rose has to say, plus get a little of B's story. I know some of you are getting impatient, but please keep in mind that this is only chapter 10. **

**As always, please read and review. It is the polite thing to do. We don't get paid, people. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you girls (and guys) for all of the review, fav's, and alerts. I know I'm terrible at replying and for that I am truly sorry. I read each one and each one inspires me.**

**Huge thanks to the Queen of my beta world, Kitty Cullen-03. She's a superhero! **

**Warning: This chapter contains sensitive subject matter.**

**I still don't own**

* * *

_**Bella**_

My body trembled as I made my way to Rosalie's room. Jasper and I had such a good day and I was certain she was about to ruin it. When she walked into the room her features were softer than I'd ever seen them. She almost looked sorry… almost. I wasn't sure what she was playing at, but I tried to stay calm, just in case she could smell fear like I assumed. In my mind, Rosalie Hale was immortal; a demon would be the closest description I could get to describing her.

Hesitantly, I lifted my hand to knock. It was weak and shallow. _So much for showing no fear. _I heard a small voice that I wasn't even sure was Rosalie on the other side of the door. As the door swung open I came face to face with a startled looking Emmett. He pushed by me saying 'excuse me' and motioned for me to go inside before rushing down the hall. When I walked in, Rosalie was sitting on her bed. I glanced around the room; it was nothing like I expected. Her bed was a contemporary canopy that was pure white, from the wood to the sheet. Her walls were a light, airy blue with clouds painted on the north wall. She had a computer desk that held many pictures of her family and herself, but no friends. For such a young socialite I found it disturbing. In the far right corner sat a white chest of drawers and on the opposite wall a dainty white dresser. There wasn't a thing out of place and none of her accomplishments were on display. Her dark hardwood floors looked freshly polished. Although it was a perfect reflection of who she was on the outside, it wasn't at all what I was expecting.

I took a few steps forward, stopping a few feet away from her. She was looking down at her lap, picking at her nails. The corners of her eyes were creased as if she were squeezing her shut.

"Rosalie," I said, waiting for her to acknowledge me. She looked up with a heavy sigh. Her eyes were puffy and rimmed with red. She had been crying and it made me uncomfortable. I wasn't used to dealing with other people's emotions. "I can come back," I shot out quickly, turning around.

"No, wait." She jumped off the bed and placed her hand on my shoulder. With my mouth dropped open I turned around to look at her. She took a big breath and turned her gaze to the floor. "Bella, I wanted to say thank you. What you did at dinner…" she let her words trail off as she shook her head.

"You're welcome. I meant what I said, you know?"

"Yeah. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it. Carlisle and Esme have been so good to us and the last thing I want to do is disappoint them. I made my decision with a heavy heart, and I knew he wouldn't approve. He's really understanding and I can count on him for anything, but he's really passionate about our studies. If you hadn't said something the situation would have escalated between us, so thank you," she said, looking up at me. I smiled genuinely.

"You're welcome, Rosalie. I think you're doing the right thing."

She nodded and began to move away. I took that as my cue to leave and turned around, heading for the door. I thought I was out of the line of fire when she called out to me once more. I turned slowly and cocked my head to the side. She was holding something out to me that she had grabbed off of her dresser. I narrowed my eyes, trying to make out the bottle in her hands. A gasp escaped my lips when I realized it was my pill bottle. The same pill bottle I'd shoved in my purse the day we arrived.

"I'm sorry," her face was full of regret as she spoke.

"How did you get those?" I asked through gritted teeth as I snatched the bottle from her hands. The rattling inside only reminded me of what they were and I had to fight the urge to throw them across the room.

"I'd like to tell you that they fell out or that I found them on the floor, but the truth is, Bella, I was looking for anything I could to prove you weren't good for him. I took these out of your bag to look them up. I'm sure Jasper knows about them, but I thought maybe it would give me something."

"You went through my purse?" Red flashed behind my eyes. Images of pouncing on her and pulling her hair out by the root floated through my mind.

"Yes, and I am so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. Emmett's mad and I'm sure I've just made things worse than they already were. God, Jasper is going to hate me," she cried.

"I'm not going to tell him." How could I? Then I would have to explain what they were and why I was taking them.

"What?" her eyes widened as she questioned me.

"Jasper doesn't know about… _these_," I spat, looking at the little brown bottle in disgust.

"Why not?" she questioned, narrowing her eyes. Her balled fisted rested on her hips, yet, she still looked softer than she had during our other encounters. It was my turn to take a deep breath and do some explaining.

"Well, I've only taken them once since arriving in New Hampshire. Right before we left to come here, actually. I was so nervous and started to panic. That hasn't happened to me since I left Washington. I've felt so normal since I've been away. It was nice not to have anyone looking over my shoulder or questioning me. New Hampshire was a fresh start for me. I thought that if I told him he might look at me differently."

"I understand that," she whispered.

"What happened, Rose?" I asked without even thinking. "I don't mean to pry and we don't have to talk about it if you don't want, but it may help me understand all of this." Alice said Jasper and Rose had a story. That there was a reason she didn't trust me. I figured if maybe she could talk to me about it, we could break that barrier.

"I'll show you mine, you show me yours?" she stated as a question. I didn't know if I could, but I had to try. No one ever asked me to talk about what happened, and I wasn't sure I was ready, but was positive that to get Rosalie to open up I had to agree.

"Okay," I said quietly, nodding as I looked down at my feet. The room began to spin as I heard Rosalie shuffle her way over to the bed. Dread was sinking in quickly, and I wished I had some water to take one of those fucking blue pills.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to be sick." I looked up to see her watching me, her face full of concern.

"I'm fine," I lied. I moved to sit beside her. She looked so confident. I silently wished that I had that. "Look, we don't have to do this. I really shouldn't have asked. It wasn't my place. Besides, it's the holidays, right? Happy spirits, cheer, and all that?" I laughed nervously. I needed an out. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do to get out of that room.

"Oh no, you are not getting out of this. I may not like you, Bella, but you are dating my brother and I promise to try," she held up her finger to let me know she wasn't done. "If you tell me what's up with those." She pointed to the pill bottle that I'd sat down on the bed as I sat down.

"Alright," I sighed in defeat.

"Okay," she agreed. Her fingers glided over her scalp over and over again while she took the time to collect her thoughts. "I'm sure you already know about our parents. Well, as you can image it was really hard on Jasper and me. Our whole lives changed in the matter of minutes and I don't know… I guess for a while I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. When we moved in with Esme and Carlisle I tried to be happy, or at least pretend to be happy, but I was having a hard time in school. I rarely slept and it didn't take Carlisle long to notice. Jasper adjusted pretty well. He missed our parents, but Esme has always been like a second mother to us and he took solace in that.

"When things didn't change after many talks, Carlisle suggested therapy. There was no way in hell I was going to have some quack tell me what I was going through was my own fault. I didn't understand it then, you know? I thought I'd go in there, they'd evaluate me, and tell me something was wrong with me. Anyway, I decided to change. Reinvent myself if you will," she paused, shaking her head.

"I was so stupid. It didn't take long for me to make friends once I put myself out there. I thought getting involved would get Carlisle off my back and it did. I got a tutor and brought my grades up. Things were good. I actually started to adjust, but even now, I'm not the same person I was. Once you've lied to so many people you start believing the lies yourself.

"My junior year is when things started to really fall into place for me. I was co-captain of the cheerleading squad, in the top five of my class, and had started dating Royce the summer before. He was everything I wanted in a boy, a man… He was older than I was- a Dartmouth sophomore. We met at my best friend at the time, Samantha's, seventeenth birthday party. He made a big to-do about being there, saying if she wasn't his cousin he wouldn't have come at all. Royce was handsome, jet black hair, and blue eyes. He was a rugby player, but only for recreation. I remember going to his games on weekends and worrying so hard that he'd get hurt. Now, I wish that he had.

"Six months into our relationship Royce started becoming impatient. He wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready, far from it actually. I loved him, but I always thought I would wait for marriage. It was what my parents would have wanted for me. Royce had a stealthy reputation. It didn't matter to me how many women he had been with as long as I was the last one. God, Bella, I was so naïve. I made promises I couldn't keep. Prom, I told him. We would do it at prom. That night came and went. I used ever excuse in the book to hold him off. So many times he threatened to leave me. I resolved that at the end of the summer I would do it. I planned to marry him anyway, and really, who could fault me? We were in love, right? Well, we never made it to the end of summer.

"Esme and Carlisle traveled a lot to different medical conferences and Edward and I always threw parties. Took advantage is what we really did. Jasper and Alice hated it so much. They felt like we were disrespecting our parent's home. They had gone to New York that July and we took the opportunity to throw an early back-to-school bash. The whole night Royce was feeding me drinks. I didn't question him because it wasn't out of the ordinary. Everything that happened after that is kind of a blur. I woke up the next morning, naked in Esme and Carlisle's bed with Royce's sweaty body smothering me. I was sore and bruised. It wasn't until later that day when I saw the scratches on Royce's neck that things started to come back to me.

"I told him no, Bella. I begged him to stop. Immediately after realizing what he had done, I kicked him out, using the excuse that I needed to clean before my aunt and uncle returned. I went to find Edward and asked him to take me to the hospital. They found flunitrazepam in my system. You know, roofie's? They did a few routine exams and the conclusion was that I had been raped, but who was going to believe me? Who would believe that the man I loved, that loved me, would do that? My family. That was it. I couldn't prove that Royce was the one that gave me the drug and when it came down to it, it was his word against mine. He had an excuse for everything and since my memory of that night was flawed I couldn't counter anything he said.

"He got away, Bella. I'll never forget the smug look on his face as we left the court room. I think that was the worst part. I trusted him and he violated that in every way possible. My virginity was the only part of myself that I didn't give Royce and that was the only part he cared about. Edward and Jasper sought him out not long after that. He didn't get what he deserved and they didn't feel better afterwards, but at least he got to feel some of the physical pain he inflicted on me," she sniffed, shifting her gaze away from me.

I look at her in horror, not sure what to do. A strangled, heavy cry escaped her lips and in that moment I decided it didn't matter how much she hated me, or wanted to prove I wasn't any good. I threw myself at her, wrapping my arms around her neck and pulling her head into my chest. We sat there for I don't know how long. Minutes? Hours? It didn't matter because whether she wanted one or not, Rose had a friend in me.

She pulled away with a light chuckle. She straightened her top over her round belly and wiped away her tears.

"I'm so embarrassed," she confessed.

"No, Rose. Don't be. I'm glad you told me, and am so sorry for what happened to you," what I said was sincere. I couldn't even begin to image the terror and shock of the situation. My heart bled for her.

"You called me Rose," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry," I apologized quickly. My brain hadn't even recognized my mistake. Every time I was around her I would tend to over think. My words were usually calculated.

"Oh, no. I mean, you've just never called me that before. You can call Rose if you like. That's what most of my family calls me anyway." My heart swelled. She really was going to try.

"Thank you for telling me." I looked at her and noticed her smile. She looked happy. I questioned in my mind how she could be after what she just told me.

"I wanted you to understand. You could be anyone, Bella. It wouldn't change the way I feel about people or about my brother. Esme, Carlisle, Edward, and Alice, sure they're my family, but he's my brother, you know? We've been through so much together and it would kill me if anything happened to him. I don't want to see him hurt. I'm working on it. I've been in therapy and every day it gets easier. Emmett's helped a lot, too. He's been so gentle and patient with me. I don't deserve him." She shook her head, looking over my shoulder at a point on the wall.

"Yes, you do. You're good for him, too. I've heard stories about him – the way he used to be. Maybe you are just what he needs to keep him in line." _Maybe you guys were made for each other_, I almost said, but stopped myself. I've never believed in soul mates or fate until I met Jasper, and still wasn't completely convinced. I thought love came with a price.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Rose."

"Alright, Swan. Now it's your turn. What's your baggage?" She patted my knee as if she were encouraging me. The corners of my lips quirked up as she made light of the situation. After hearing her story mine seemed easy, trite and ridiculous. I sighed and laid back on the bed, not caring that it wasn't my own or that I hadn't been invited.

"My dad was shot when I was nine," I said sounding stronger than I actually felt.

"That's it?" She rolled her eyes. I knew I wouldn't get away with just that, but it was worth a shot. I felt like an idiot after she poured her heart out to me.

"Well, no, but that's the gist of it."

"You got to give me more than that, Bella. There has to be a reason you're on those pills." Her body shifted towards me and her eyes held a slight glare.

"Fine," I huffed, and started to tell my tale.

"_Here, baby, let me show you," my mother said, taking the towel from my hands and folding it. She placed it in the pile and looked at me with a smile. "Think you can do it?"_

"_I'll try," I said, my tone already heavy with defeat. I hated laundry day. Renee always thought we were "bonding", I always thought I was being punished. _

_We worked through the two baskets slowly. We talked about school and what childhood drama I'd seen that week. She loved hearing me tell stories; so many times I'd elaborate for her sake. "You'll make a great writer one day, Bella," she'd tell me. I'd normally roll my eyes internally and think_; too bad that's not what I want to do._ I was nine. No one knows what they really want to do at that young of an age. I didn't realize then that dreams only looked to be so close that you could touch them, and mine was to sing like my mom's favorite artist, Billie Holiday. _

_I helped Mom load up the car and the whole ride home I was bouncing with excitement. Renee was a good parent, but nothing like Charlie. He was consistent and fun. He'd been working nearly three days straight and that night was supposed to be mine. _

_When we pulled up to the house a frown fell on my lips as I noted that Charlie's cruiser was not in the drive. Solemnly, I followed Renee into the house. We put away the laundry and Mom started dinner. She called the station to check on him, but of course, he wasn't there. Not long after that the phone began to ring. I knew something happened. I could feel it. Instantly, I felt the life being sucked out of me. I sat at the table, working on that weeks spelling assignment, but lifted my head to watch Renee as she walked across the kitchen to answer the phone._

"_Hello," her sweet voice rang. "Oh my God. Is he alright? Oh my God. We'll be… I'll be… my daughter… oh God. We'll be right there." She slammed the phone back on the receiver. I could tell she was shaking from where I sat. _

"_Mom?" I said, trying to get her attention._

"_Oh, honey, we have to go. Your dad's had an accident and he's in the hospital."_

"_What kind of accident?" I didn't understand. Dad was invincible. _

"_We have to go, Bella. Now!" It was the first time she'd ever yelled at me, and it was then that I knew that something terrible happened. I stood from the table, stumbling over my feet. Mom ran into the living room to grab her purse from the couch and met me at the door. Tears began to stream down my face. _

_Once we were in the car, with the engine started, Renee turned to me and sighed. _

"_I need you to be strong, Baby. No matter what happens, everything will be fine," she tried to sound convincing, but we both knew that was a lie. She wouldn't make it without Charlie, and then where would I be?_

_After getting an affirmative nod from me she pulled out of the driveway. Two Forks police cars were parked in front of the emergency room entrance. Mom didn't even bother looking for a parking place just pulled up behind them and parked. We both raced out of the car, and immediately, Mom was enveloped in the arms of Officer Daniels. For a moment she appeared to be laughing, but taking a closer look I realized she was in tears. _

_A tall blonde, whose face I'd never been able to recall, came and kneeled beside me. She took me by the hand and explained that she would be staying with me for a while as my mother needed to fill out paperwork and such. I screamed, begging someone, anyone, to tell me where Dad was, but they were evasive - only saying that things would be fine. Nothing felt fine._

_My mother nodded towards me, urging me to go with the lady. Her name was Mrs. Cope. I hated her for not telling me what was going on, though, she was rather nice. I was taken to a room full of toys that didn't hold my interest. I sat there for what felt like forever before Renee came in, her cheeks stained with dry tears. She smiled weakly. It didn't reach her eyes._

"_What are you doing, baby?" She walked over and kneeled down beside me._

"_Waiting for you," I said honestly._

"_Come here, Bella. We need to have a talk."_

_She told me that my father had been shot while out on a burglary call. That was the first time I had an attack. My breathing became shallow and sporadic. The thumping of my heart began to quicken and harden. It felt like it was going to burst out of my tightened chest. It felt like I was going to die._

_There was yelling and whispering and darkness and light. I woke up in a hospital bed later that evening. Doctors called it a panic attack which I didn't understand. Forks was small and I was nine. I'd be years before I learned and understood that Claire down the street was bipolar or that Jessica's mother suffered agoraphobia, or that Charlie's PTSD (or mine for that matter) had nothing to do with me._

"That's when it all started." I shrugged. "My dad was in a coma for three months and I completely drew into myself and refused to speak. The panic attacks gradually worsened, especially once he was home and back on the job. I didn't say a word for six months then it took two years for me to start talking without being prompted. I was a mess. My fears kept me home from school. I didn't go back until my eighth grade year and by then I'd already been labeled "a freak". Living in such a small town, there were no secrets. I don't have some fucked up imbalance. I'm not depressed or suicidal. I don't need to be watched, but there were rumors of all the above.

"People suck, they're cruel and they lie. It definitely didn't do anything for my condition or my self esteem. When Mike, the boyfriend I told you about? When he asked me out the first time I was ecstatic. I just wanted to belong, to be accepted. It didn't work, but for some reason he, and my best friend Jess, kept me around. When I left I just wanted to break free. No one here knew me, it was easy to forget. Besides, how stupid would I feel explaining my irrational fears to Jasper? I feel stupid sitting her explaining them to you. How fair is it of me to constantly worry about my father's safety, when yours is no longer here?" The words were out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. I clamped my hand over my mouth and looked at Rose with wide eyes. She grabbed my hand and sat it back down in my lap.

"It's not stupid, Bella. You went through a very traumatic experience at a young age. If I've learned anything from what I went through, it's that you can't change what's out of your control. Sure, your fears maybe irrational, but you can't help how you feel. Bad feelings are the hardest to embrace, but once you do it's so much easier to move forward. If you truly love Jasper, you have to tell him. Even though you've moved on from Forks, doesn't mean that somewhere, below the surface, those feelings aren't lingering."

She picked up the pill bottle and read the label.

"Are these the only pills you take?" She cocked her head to the side and continued to stare at the wording.

"Well now I don't take any, but I was on Paxil. I quit taking it about a week before I left Forks. I never religiously took it anyway."

"You need to, Bella," she snapped. It wasn't anything that I hadn't heard. I hated the way it made me feel and made me look. I wasn't fucking crazy. Things were better. I didn't need them.

"I don't want to be… abnormal," I admitted.

"This is America, sweetie. You're far from abnormal," she said teasingly.

"Thank you, Rose," I said just before I lost it. Tears streamed quickly down my face. Rosalie didn't move. She simply took my hand, let me cry, and spoke through my sobs.

"Meh, don't mention it. Was it good for you? Because it was definitely good for me," she joked with a wink. I laughed, wiping the last of my tears from the corners of my eyes.

"Yeah, I think it was good for me." I nooded.

"Good." She took my hand in hers and pulled me off of the bed. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled my head down on her shoulder. "I'm trying, Bella. No one is perfect. I'm sorry for being so terrible to you, and I can't promise it won't happen again, but just remember that I am trying."

"I'll remember," I said, my tone matter of fact, pulling away from her. "I guess I better go find Jasper. I'm sure he's wondering what's going on."

"Oh, I'm sure he is. He'll probably want to count the number of hairs on your head the minute he sees you." She smiled sweetly.

Rosalie followed me to the door and asked me to send Emmett in if I saw him. I did, but he and Jasper were in the living room talking and I didn't want to interrupt. My conversation with Rose gave me a lot to think about, and I found that I was grateful to have some time to myself, to think. By the time Jasper came back up to the room we were both physically drained. Neither of us asked about our private conversations with the sense that that's just what they were – private. We ended up staying in and eating dinner with the family. It was okay. Alice put on a great show of pining over her high school sweetheart, Tyler gave me the creeps, but kept his distance, Rosalie smiled at for the first time in public, and the night was drama free. I felt like I had just successfully completed a mission for the CIA.

The next morning Alice woke me up bright and early to do last minute shopping. I didn't complain. We were only three days away from Christmas, and I hadn't bought anyone, but my parents, anything and needed to get it done. Jasper was invited, but declined. I was reluctant to leave him since we hadn't been able to go on our date the night before, but he insisted I go. He, Edward, Carlisle, and Emmett were going to the next town over to do some shopping themselves, so I didn't feel so bad.

When we got in the car Alice told me that she and Tyler came to the mutual agreement that they would only be friends. She didn't have to tell him about Tia, and he never admitted to anything either. I got the feeling that it was better for her that way. They agreed to wait until after the holiday's to announce their split. She seemed lighter than I'd ever seen her. It made me realize that I needed to tell Jasper about my past, and rid of the extra weight I'd been carrying, or burying, depending on how you looked at the situation.

* * *

**Review because it's the polite thing to do :)**

**For those of you who don't know, I posted a new fic this week. It's my first ever canon, _Eyes Wide Shut_. It's a little heavy, but if you like E/B give it a try. I also collab with Jasper's Sex Kitten under the name Twisted Minds Think Alike. _March out of the Madness_ is a Dark Emmett/Bella and we are currently working on chapter 4. So if dark's your thing please check that out as well.**

**Thanks for reading. See ya soon. **

**~K**


	12. Chapter 12

**THANK YOU so much for the reviews, alerts, and fav's. I can't put into words how much I appreciate them!**

**Benson Hall chapters and banners can be found on my blog. Link in my profile if your interested. **

**Huge thanks to Kitty Cullen-03 for beta'ing this so efficiently and fast! **

**Disclaimer: Twilight Characters and themes belong to the lovely S. Meyer, however, the plot is mine. Please do not translate or copy without permission. **

* * *

_**Jasper**_

"What are we doing here?" Carlisle pulled the car up to the curb in front of his favorite jeweler. He told me he was finished with all of his Christmas shopping, and I really needed to get something for Bella that didn't cost nearly a grand. Besides, Bella wasn't like most women. Jewelry –without significance- no matter what the price, didn't mean anything to her.

"I need to pick something up for the girls. Don't worry, Esme's already ordered them, so it won't take me long. You and Edward are welcome to stay in the car if you like." I sat back in my seat and nodded at my uncle. Christmas time had always been hard for me. It reminded me of my parents. Esme or Rosalie always did my shopping for me. Walking through the malls, trying to fight the crowd, wasn't my thing. That Christmas was different though. I had Bella, and she deserved something special.

"Edward?" Carlisle raised his brow, opening the car door.

"I'm good, Dad. I'll stay with Jasper."

"I'll be back in a minute." He closed the door and headed into Uley's. It really isthe best place in Hanover to buy jewelry, but most people didn't know about or didn't care for the prices.

We sat in awkward silence for a while before Edward turned his head in my direction and huffed. Things had been strained between us, and I hoped that he wouldn't try to discuss it. I wasn't in the mood. I didn't want to shop and I most definitely didn't want to be away from Bella. It was selfish, but I wanted her all to myself.

"What's taking him so long?" he asked with annoyance heavy in his tone. I simply shrugged and averted my gaze. Edward sighed and turned around. I thought I dodged his attempt at small talk, but I was wrong.

"So, things with Bella are good, huh?" he questioned, nonchalantly.

"Yep." I sighed heavily. Bella was the last person I wanted to talk about with _him_.

"That's good. She's a great girl. You're really lucky." He smiled thoughtfully for a moment.

"I know." I smiled at just how true his words were. Bella was amazing. I didn't understand why she chose me. Edward was good looking, smart despite his outward appearances, and had clearly been making advances towards her. Sure, they probably wouldn't have lasted long. He would have gotten what he wanted and bailed, but still; Edward seemed to be more her type in the beginning. "What about you and Kate? She seems pretty nice."

"She is, man. She's beautiful and smart, too. She's not like other girls I've dated. Kate and Bella are a lot alike actually. I'm not surprised that they took to each other so easily."

"You're going to actually date her then?" I managed to ask through my shock.

"Maybe. I brought her home. I've never done that. I don't want to get too serious, but it might be nice to have someone around. It's my senior year; time to grow up." He shrugged, turning back around. We were quiet after that. The thought of Edward settling down was nearly comical. I didn't ever see it happening; not then, not twenty years from then.

Carlisle came back to the car and apologized profusely for the wait time. Esme wanted each of the girls, Bella included, to have something nice from her for Christmas and had custom, almost matching tennis bracelets crafted. I groaned, laying my head back on the seat. Bella was either going to be angry and slightly embarrassed by the generosity of the gift, or she would become overly sentimental about it. I was hoping for the latter. A teary eyed girl I could deal with.

We decided to head over to Tuck Mall since neither Edward nor I knew what we wanted to buy, and there were plenty of shops to choose from. On our way there I sat back and thought about my conversation with Emmett the day before.

"_I don't even know where to start…" I twisted my hands nervously and glared at a nonexistent spot on the carpet. Why did I think talking to Emmett was a good idea? What was I supposed to say? I still think you're an asshole for not telling me you were fucking my sister for… oh…. three years? Thanks for jabbing the spatha into my spine?_

"_This isn't going to be good is it? Fuck. Man, you look like you're going to puke. Whatever you think I've done, I haven't. Shit with Rosie's been good lately. Real good."_

"_No, I'm-" I stopped to take a deep breath. In the process I also reminded myself that it was time to man the fuck up. "I just wanted to apologize for the way I've treated you. It wasn't right for me -or anyone really- to place the blame solely on you."_

"_Aw, shucks. Really?" He batted his lashes playfully. If it had been anyone else I would have been perturbed, but it was just Emmett being Emmett._

"_Yeah. Don't get me wrong. You still should have told me. We were supposed to be f… friends. I am apologizing for the way I treated you, not forgiving the way you and Rosalie chose to handle things."_

"_Do you remember when we first met, Jasper?" I nodded. "You warned me off of Rose before I even knew your name. I didn't get it then. I honestly thought you had some freaky sister fetish, but I get it now. You were trying to protect her. What you didn't understand was that she didn't need protecting. Rosalie is a strong woman, but I knew that if I told you that would be the end of our friendship. I guess that happened anyway, but I won't apologize for loving her. I can't. I should've told you, and I'm sorry for that, but I can't apologize for the way things have turned out. I plan on spending the rest of my life with her, whether you approve or not."_

After he finished his rant I didn't know what to say, so I simply nodded. I always knew he loved Rosalie, but I respected him for much more than that. I was her brother and despite the fact that most of her boyfriend could knock me out with one strike, they never stood up to me like Emmett had. It showed just how serious he was about being with their relationship.

We let the seriousness of the conversation die down. Emmett asked how I was making out at Dartmouth. He wasn't surprised to learn I found most of my classes tedious, and was already well ahead in studying for the upcoming semester. When he told me he was falling behind in some courses I readily agreed to tutor him, knowing his scholarship would be revoked if he didn't get some help. I couldn't very well let my niece of nephew be raised by two Dartmouth dropouts.

I steered clear of any topics that revolved around Rosalie, babies, or Rosalie and babies. Bella made a good point at dinner, and I was grateful for the interception, but still couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that my sister had given up on her dreams. Or, maybe I had it all wrong and she was. I wasn't sure. She seemed happier than I had ever seen her, that's all that mattered.

We circled the mall parking lot six times before finding a spot at the far end of the parking lot. Hanover held a population of around eleven thousand people and it wouldn't have surprised me at all to find that at least half of them were following our line of thinking.

_Note to self: never shop this close to Christmas again._

"I'll catch up with you guys in an hour or so," I hollered over the crowd as we entered the building. Carlisle and Edward waved me off. They knew we well enough to know that I would want some privacy while shopping for Bella. I was nervous enough as it was, I didn't need their input.

It took way longer than I expected to find what I felt like was the perfect gift. My girl was about simplicity. She probably would have preferred a ten dollar journal to the three hundred one I settled on, but she deserved the best. Besides, she would never know how much I spent. I also picked up a small Lladro in the shape of a kitten, perched on a log with flowers, gazing down at a butterfly because it reminded me of her. It wouldn't have to be for Christmas, rather something I just wanted her to have. I hoped she liked them. Her journal was nearly full and tattered. It needed to be replaced. I considered having something imprinted in the leather, but thought a few simple words, discreetly written inside the jacket would personalize it to my liking, and hopefully hers.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Carlisle. He and Edward were sitting in the food court waiting for me. When I found them, I sat down my bags at the table and hurried to the Chinese counter. The line was longer than I'd ever seen it, causing me to grumble. One glance around the square told me I'd be waiting at any of the other five acceptable restaurants as well. I sighed, pushing my glasses further up on my nose, and waited. It didn't take as long as the long line led me to believe it would. Fifteen minutes later I was back at the table with Edward and Carlisle.

"I have no idea what to get Rose. The baby's almost here, so I don't want to get her maternity clothes, but I don't want to assume she'll get her figure back and buy her something she'll never fit into again. It's probably not a wise idea to remind her of that anyway, huh?" We all chuckled at how right he was.

"Why not buy her a pair of shoes? Or, how about that fruity stuff she buys from Bath and Body Works? She would like that."

"I didn't know that's where she shopped. Do Alice and Bella shop there, too?" He cocked his head to the side, seeming to have been in deep thought. I groaned. He always seemed to be concerned with Bella.

"No. Bella doesn't wear anything and showers with body wash from the grocery, and Alice wears _Heaven_." I stated.

"Huh. How do you know all of this?" he questioned. I shrugged, shoveling a pile of fried rice in my mouth. "Bella wears nothing? She always smells so sweet. Like strawberries or something."

My fork dropped out of my hand, onto the table. Why was he paying close enough attention to Bella to know what she smelled like? I was infuriated. It took me a minute to see through my angry haze. He said she smelled like strawberries. I wrinkled my nose. She didn't. She smelled like honey and chocolate and fucking sun after the rain. Carlisle was looking between the two of us with a worried expression. Perhaps he was thinking the same thing I was. Edward should not be commenting on Bella's scent. MY BELLA!

_Mine, mine, mine,_ I mentally whined.

The smug look on his face told me he knew he hit a nerve. I needed to keep my cool. Too many times he'd gotten the best of me.

"Tastes like them, too." I smirked. Carlisle chuckled before regaining composure and giving me a stern look. He was aware that Edward deserved to be brought down a few pegs. The grimace on his face told me he indeed had, and that we would be moving along to a different topic of conversation.

Three extremely long hours later we were headed home. Edward bought all three girls Japanese Cherry Blossom body wash and lotion, plus gift cards to Urban Outfitters. It didn't escape my attention that he bought nothing for Kate. Carlisle informed him that Esme wanted a new gardening smock, and that was what took the longest. We ended up finding something that resembled what she already had in her shed, and hurriedly grabbed it. Esme could be hard to shop for. I was grateful for the pair of Cole Haan's, stored in my closet that had I had bought two months prior. She was very fashionable, but as she aged, she began to appreciate comfort as well. The shoes were perfect for her.

Rosalie, as Edward observed, was harder to shop for that year. I got lucky when she emailed me a picture of the bassinet she wanted and didn't receive at her first baby shower. It wasn't so much a gift for her, but she would be pleased.

Alice had done so much for Bella that I wanted to show my gratitude. I didn't have a lot of money, but dipped into my savings to purchase her a membership to one of the local runners clubs, a timing watch, shoes and an outfit to get her started. She expressed her interest in running the New York City marathon. I figured my gift would give her push in the right direction.

Carlisle was the easiest. Every year he was gifted a new pen. He easily could have refilled the one from the year before, but it had become tradition, and he seemed to look forward to it – as did I.

We pulled into the driveway and the first thing I noticed was that Esme's car was still absent. I was both relieved and a little disappointed. I missed Bella, but didn't want her to see my gifts. Edward, Carlisle, and I parted ways and I made my way up to my room. I shoved the bags containing the presents into the closet with the others before sitting at my computer desk and booting up the system.

It had been a couple of days since I logged on, and wanted to check my favorite Wars forum. I needed a way to pass the time until Bella got back and knew from years of experience that it would keep me entertained. I scanned the boards for anything interesting. The majority of current topics were nothing I hadn't read before, so I glanced at one or two interesting photo threads and moved on. I came across a question that I couldn't ignore because it was both trivial, and easy to answer.

**Thread: FryLives1984 ****Didn't Luke use Qui-gon's green lightsaber crystal in ROTJ?**

_BMU007 __**re: Didn't Luke use Qui-gon's green lightsaber crystal in ROTJ?**__  
:__No, it explains the process of Luke going back to Obi Wan's looted homestead and finding a hidden cache with, among other things, plans for building a new Jedi lightsaber and the supplies in the book Shadows of the Empire, which takes place between Episodes V and VI. He stays there for several weeks and constructs a new one._

I refreshed twice, waiting to see if anyone would dispute my reply. Of course they did, and of course it was the moronic author.

**FryLives1984 re: Duuuuudddeeee! It says so on the movie poster. Look it up bro. His lightsaber was blue as the ocean deep!**

_WOAH! What? Hmm… Did he not read his own question?_

I tried to think of a rebuttal, but quickly gave up when all I could think to do was edit his post. I looked over a few more posts and found an interesting debate on "Who shot first – Han or Greedo?" I didn't comment, I would have been there all night, but it was rather enjoyable watching the three –obvious "warsies"- go at it.

Bella got home a couple hours later. When she walked in the room I glanced over my shoulder. I could tell she was exhausted from a full day of shopping. I turned around in my computer chair, pushing my glasses further up on my nose, and opened my arms to her just as she dropped her bags to the ground. She immediately took my offer and fell into my embrace.

We didn't talk for a few moments. I took the time to take in her scent. It was stupid, but I needed to prove to myself that Edward was wrong. He was. Undoubtedly. She smelled better than fucking strawberries, even I was wrong in my assessment. She just smelled like Bella.

"I missed you," she cooed, nuzzling her face into my neck.

"I missed you, too, a lot. Did you have fun?" I pulled back to look at her face. A wide grin spread across her cheeks.

"Mhm. Esme is a bargain shopper, man. I couldn't believe all the great deals we got. I spent more than I should have, but wow… I got a lot of stuff." She nodded vigorously as to emphasize her point.

I laughed. I couldn't believe how excited she was about shopping. It felt like one of those moments where you would ask the silly cliché question _"Where's my girlfriend and what have you done with her?"_

"I'm glad you had fun. I wish I could say the same, but I don't think I will ever find joy in shopping near Christmas. The mall was crowded; it took twenty minutes to find a parking space, and then another twenty to get my lunch. It was insane."

"Aw, poor baby," she teased. I poked her side playfully, causing her to bend over in a fit of giggles. Her vibrating, squirming body on top of mine reminded me of her tight body squirming as I brought her to her release the day before. Heat began to spread in my groin and before I could contain myself I was pushing my erection into her ass. She quit squirming and looked at me seriously. She was slightly panting from her giggle fit and her cheeks were flushed. She looked beautiful and so natural. I couldn't resist the urge to press my lips to hers.

She kissed back willingly, allowing her tongue to do a sweet, slow dance with mine. In the hundreds of times we kissed I don't think we had ever taken our time. It was definitely bittersweet. The antagonizing slow pace kept me wanting more, but the slow burn sent a warming sensation straight down the center of my cock. I could feel my boxers dampen from the pre-cum that had risen to the surface. My silent wish was to have her lick it off while I watched in anticipation for her mouth. I would never ask her, but still… I hoped.

Too soon for my liking she broke our kiss and climbed off of my lap. I narrowed my eyes and glared at her retreating form as she made her way to the door. Quietly, she closed and locked it. I let out a relieved sigh. There was no way I was going to last without touching her – not after that kiss.

Bella slowly sauntered back over. I got the feeling she was patronizing me purposely. A small smile spread across her face as she stopped halfway between the door and where I was sitting. She lifted her shirt above her head and tossed it to the floor right in front of me. I gulped, hard, never taking my eyes off of her. She continued stripping off her clothing, tossing each piece into the pile at my feet until she was completely bare. I sat frozen, unsure of what to do. What did she want me to do?

Thankfully she answered my unasked question when she came to stand before me.

"Unzip your pants," she demanded.

I fumbled with the denim flap covering my zipper. I couldn't get it down fast enough. Fuck the anticipation. I didn't think I was going to last past the first lick.

She stood straddling my legs, watching me with amusement as I complied with her request. I licked my dry lips as her tiny hand came down and freed my gorging erection from my boxers and out of the whole of my jeans. She pumped me in her palm three solid times before releasing me and sitting her ass down on my knees. Her hands ran up my thighs as she moved her body forward, aligning her wet slit with my erection. I groaned loudly. The vision of her sex so close to my cock was too much.

"I..I want you," I stuttered.

"Soon," she whispered, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on my lips. Her hand found its way back to my throbbing erection. "But right now, there's something I want to try."

She spread her legs further apart and placed a hand on my shoulder. The tip of my dick slipped between her folds. I took a deep, audible breath. She was so wet. I was ready cum before we even got started. My eyes were glued to our touching centers. Bella's head fell back as she guided my head around the circle of her clit.

"That feels so fucking good," she said, her voice was an octave lower than normal.

I was speechless through my agreement as she continued working her clit while simultaneously pumping my cock. Never, never in my life had I seen or felt anything so stimulating. I felt like begging to be inside of her.

She tightened her hold around my length and slid my tip up and down her slit. My sensitive skin pressed hard against her allowed me to feel every single crevice. Her pussy was so warm, so soft, after having a taste I knew I would never get enough.

I finally tore my eyes away to look at her face. She hadn't moved since we started. Her lips were slightly parted and her eyes closed. The position of her head gave me a nice view of her creamy white neck. In the three seconds I explored it I found a mole I didn't know existed. My eyes raked down her chest, over her breasts, to her hardened pink nipples. They looked so inviting. I needed to taste.

I leaned forward, moving my hands from her hips up to the underside of her breasts. I pushed them up to allow myself easier access to her peaks. My tongue darted out and teased as my hands kneaded gingerly. She cried out, bucking her hips. The sound boosted my ego, and caused my balls to tighten and ache at once. I pulled away from her breast and lay my head on chest.

"God, Bella. I can't… I'm so sorry. Fuck…" I cursed as my release found me and I climaxed against her bare pussy. Panic welled up inside of me briefly. Would she be upset? But my release only egged her on. She continued grinding her hips back and forth, using my cock as her own personal toy. I was so sensitive. It was heaven. It was hell. It was everything.

"I can't wait to feel you inside of me." She lifted her head to look into my eyes as she spoke.

"I can't wait to be inside of you." That was all it took for her to break. Her orgasm shook her body harder than I ever felt. I sat up straight and watched her bask in her orgasmic high. She released my cock, but continued moving slowly against me as she came down. Her hand winded around the back of my neck. She pulled me to her, kissing me – tight lipped and forcefully.

When she pulled away, she laid her head against my chest and sighed.

"I had a lovely time with you today, Bella. We should shop together more often," Esme said, smiling brightly as she passed the green bean casserole to Carlisle.

I turned to give Bella a sly wink. I was so pleased that my family had taken to her so kindly. It even seemed as if Rosalie was beginning to warm up. She didn't go out of her way to speak to Bella or anything, but was cordial none the less.

Conversation flowed freely around the dinner table. For once everyone was in high spirits. I found that even I was happier than usual. Of course, my afternoon contributed to my mood, and I'm sure Bella's, but it felt good to sit around the table with my family and actually feel like a unit. It had been a long time since we thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

"Oh, I'll grab that. I'm expecting a call," Edward exclaimed, jumping up from the table. Carlisle and Esme both gave him disapproving looks, but if he noticed he ignored them.

"Um, Bella, it's your mom," he announced as he walked back into the room with a shrug.

"My mom?" Bella asked aloud to no one in particular. I gave her a small smile as she got up. She hadn't talked to her or about her parents since we'd arrived. I hoped that whatever Renee had to say wouldn't break her mood.

"Hello... I'm sorry… I've been so busy I haven't even charged the stupid thing… Oh my God… oh my… Where is he...? Oh my God…" I could hear her panicked voice calling out from the kitchen. I began to stand when Rosalie spoke up.

"Please, let me?" She gave me a pleading, knowing, look that caused dread to wash over me. Something was definitely not right. I nodded, but she was already pushing away from the table.

"Bella? Fuck. Carlisle!" she hollered. Worry began to sit in, but I held my place. Rose asked to go, so I wouldn't intrude. "Hello… this is Jasper's sister Rosalie… THREE DAYS... no I don't think she is…My uncle is a doctor, Mrs. Swan… I have it on the caller ID… okay…"

"Her father's been in an accident. She's… shit… she's on medication." Rose explained to Carlisle, but her words made no sense. Renee was on medication? Bella was on medication? No. I would have known. Right? Alice tucked her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. She could sense my trepidation and nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen. I stood, excusing myself.

As Carlisle ran out of the kitchen I walked in.

"What's going on?" I asked looking from Rose to Bella's trembling form. She was gripping her chest and breathing heavily. Her eyes were closed, but the look on her face was pained.

"She's having an anxiety attack. She'll be alright, Jasper, but we should probably find a way to get her home."

Was she kidding me? She was dismissing Bella from our home because she was having a panic attack? Anger rose in side me. I shook my head furiously.

"I'm not sending back to the dorms. It's Chri-"

"I meant Forks, Jas."

* * *

**A spatha is a type of sword**

**Han Solo or Greedo?**

**O.O Washington State?**

** Ever use your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend as a toy?**

**Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from you.**


End file.
